A Mum Central community member shares her personal story and her objection to the message that abortion is the easy way out.
Mainstream and social media have swamped us with the pro-life, pro-choice debate. I’m ok that there are points of view on both sides. What I’m not ok with is the inference that keeps reappearing: the assumption that having an abortion is taking the easy way out.
To assume this is insulting. And untrue.
There are lots of reasons women I know have had abortions. None of them were easy;
The inability to cope financially, emotionally or psychologically.
A non viable pregnancy.
In none of these situations was abortion an easy way out. It was hard, harrowing and haunting. Not one woman wants to have to make that choice. And that it exactly the point. It’s a choice most women never want to have to make. Until they feel they have no other choice.
And not all abortions are a choice.
Our second baby was planned, much anticipated, thoroughly loved and wanted. There was a loving marriage, an excited family, a besotted big sister. A name chosen, a nursery prepared.
But at the 5 month scan there were words no expectant parents ever wants to hear. Our son. Incompatible with life. Unable to be saved. Terminal.
And so began the soul destroying decision to have an abortion. A choice yes. And yet no choice at all.
There was nothing easy about that decision. There was nothing easy about that abortion.
We wanted that little one with all of our hearts. We loved him before we’d even met him. And because we loved him we chose to let him go. It was not a question of quality of life. Our son was simply unable to survive outside of my womb. His organs were unable to support him and unable to be donated to save others. From the moment he was born he would be dying, and it would be a short, futile fight as his little broken organs failed him.
So we made the only choice we could. The only choice any parent would make for their child: to not let him suffer. We were not pro-life. We were not pro-choice. We were pro-love.
And so the abortion was booked and on a day meant for celebration and first hellos, we watched a little heartbeat stop and said heartbroken goodbyes.
So what I ask is this. Whatever side of the abortion debate you sit, please stop assuming. Stop inferring that abortion is a choice made lightly, that it is an easy option. An option that women use carelessly, thoughtlessly, emotionlessly. There is enough stigma about abortion. And because of that stigma the heartbreak and suffering often occurs silently in the shadows.
Assumptions about abortion help no one. But they hurt those facing such a decision, and those who have already made one.
For more information on abortion in Australia you can visit the following pages: Abortion Law in Australia via Parliament of Australia, The Australian Womens Health Network, Children by Choice Organisation. For pro-choice information visit Reproductive Choice Australia and for pro-life information visit Right to Life.
PLEASE NOTE: This article is shared by Mum Central in the interests of representing the true experience and opinion of one of our community. All sides of the abortion debate have been represented in the resource links above. All respectful conversation on social media will not be moderated.