21 Annoying AF Things That Husbands Do

I love you, but you’re pushing my buttons with your annoying AF habits. Sound familiar?

Sometimes I wonder if my hubby is intentionally trying to annoy me with some of the stuff he does. Just put the toilet seat down, look beyond your nose and LISTEN TO ME ALREADY.

Husbands, boyfriends, significant others – if you live with someone else, you’re SURE to have noticed at least a few of these annoying things occurring over time. REST ASSURED, you’re not alone! How does your partner measure up on the ‘annoying as f**k scoreboard’? Lovably annoying or pain-in-my-arse kind of annoying?

And a note to my husband, these aren’t ALL about you – definitely a solid score of 15 though.

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20 Annoying AF Things That Husbands Do

1. Instruction manual not necessary

There’s no need for that instruction leaflet. Like, ever. From a cheap-as-chips Ikea flat-pack to the very spendy, dropped-loads-of-cash-on-it-please-don’t-eff-it-up, dishwasher. Husbands go in blind, every time.

2. The “man look”

Looks for 30 seconds, asks “where is my… (insert random thing here)?, SOMEONE MUST’VE MOVED IT”. *insert eye roll*

3. Man flu

Please, just no.

4. Do we have any?

Not even joking, before setting foot in the kitchen annoying husbands will ask ‘do we have any Vegemite / cheese /another random grocery’, as though us women are the Siris of pantry inventory.

5. Toilet roll removal refusal

If it’s not an empty toilet paper roll left on the holder, it’s leaving just ONE SHEET (yep, the one with the glue) left on the roll. Thanks annoying husband.

6. Gets ready to leave the house in five minutes

I don’t even know how this happens. Shoes on, keys in hand, let’s go! WAIT. WHAT? Following this, he either sits in the car on the driveway with the engine running (you just know he’s going to be getting annoyed) or stands in the bathroom/bedroom doorway watching you as you frantically pretty yourself up. Oh the pressure!

7. Near enough is good enough

The deodorant can NEXT to the bathroom bin, the recycling NEXT to the bin, the dirty clothes NEXT to the laundry hamper, buttered knives NEXT to the sink. You get what I’m saying, yeah?

8. Husbands are all health professionals

There’s something about doctors and dentists that has husbands avoiding them like the plague.

Husband: I have this weird lump in my neck which kind of hurts and is maybe turning blue.

Significant other: What?! You should definitely go see a doctor about that!

Husband: Doctor? Nah, she’ll be right mate, it’ll be fine.

9. Leaving the toilet seat up

An oldie but a goodie. It’s not hard to return the seat to the correct position, is it not? There’s nothing quite like going to the toilet in the darkness of the night and feeling that cold ceramic toilet rim hugging your toosh. LOWER THE DAMN SEAT OKAY.

10. Floordrobe

It’s SUPER annoying when people leave their clothes where they undress. As though they literally, just drop their pants, step straight out of them and walk away. And don’t even get me started about leaving shoes all over the house.

11. Not listening

When your husband is looking at you and nodding while you speak but actually not taking in anything you say…I like to call this ‘selective man hearing’! Well two can play that game matey.

12. Needing praise for doing the everyday chores

Takes the rubbish out without being asked or does the washing once and talks about it for weeks. Give the guy a medal, someone.

13. Doing jobs FOR YOU

“I cleaned the kitchen for you”. Um no, you cleaned it for EVERYONE. You cleaned it ONCE and I do it three times a day so there will be no confetti being thrown today, pal.

14. Doing something poorly to avoid doing it again

Does your guy make a really shitty cup of coffee? Or perhaps turned that quick grocery shop you sent him on into a complete shambles? There’s EVERY chance it’s on purpose so you won’t ask him to do it again. Smart, but annoying AF.

15. Not remembering

Husband forgot something you told him only 10 minutes ago? See point 11.

16. Different priorities

Lovingly cleans his prized motorbike of itty bitty dust particles for it to sit in the shed, yet hasn’t ever washed the family car which gets used on the daily. Go figure.

17. Pleading ignorance, therefore “can’t do it”

This applies to bathing babies, stacking a dishwasher, using Gladwrap, putting a Bonds Wondersuit on a wriggly kid. Whatever happened to ‘practice makes perfect’?

18. Being sketchy on the details

As in rarely are there any details when relaying a story or news. Conversations often sound like this:

Husband: Oh Frank and Fran had their baby.

Significant other: Oh really?! What did they have and when?

Husband: I didn’t ask, he just said the baby was here.

Significant other: Excellent. #not

19. Drops weight at lightning speed

Man announces he’s watching his diet, immediately drops five kilos. WHAT THE HECK?

20. Farting

Men and farting. This is a double-edged sword. There’s husband’s farting and not saying anything until everyone is looking around for something that has died or there’s the other side, SOMEONE PULL MY FINGER.

21. Shaving

I’m ALL for a clean shaved face but seriously, the shitty little beard hairs that lay all around the sink, the bathroom bench, the floor is an annoying husband trait. Let’s not forget the ‘clean up’ attempt of the wet hand wipe over. Now the whole bathroom vanity is wet with floating stubbly hairs. Excellent.

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Now I KNOW fellas would say there are some VERY annoying things that women do also, so all is fair in this game. But you know, they don’t write for Mum Central so they’ve lost that opportunity to voice concerns like  “there’s nothing but purple shampoo in the shower” quite as widely. Annoying hey?

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If your husband is being a super annoying husband, remind yourself why you fell in love with him in the first place. For all the feels, read this love letter To My Husband I Love You More Than Ever and let’s not forget the Wedding Anniversary Gift Guide for a good laugh!