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The Heartbreaking Story of a Mother Who Endured Not One But Two Stillbirths

jessica-nelles-stillbirth-nicu

In 2010 Jessica Nelles was 37 weeks pregnant. After almost nine months of pregnancy, this mum was so close to finally meeting her baby boy Tiberius (Ty).

But, then something no parent could ever dream of happened – the doctor told her that there was no heartbeat.

After Nelles found out that her baby had passed, she spent 12 hours in labour to deliver him. One week after finding out that Ty’s tiny heart had stopped beating, the first time mum and dad buried their first son.

Twelve weeks later the couple found out that Jessica was pregnant again. At 18 weeks the doctors told them that Jacob (the name they had picked for their unborn baby) had a fatal diagnosis. Nelles chose to carry Jacob to term and deliver him via C-section. The baby lived for 2 ½ days before the parents had to pull his life support.

Jessica-Nelles-StillbirthSix births a day in Australia are stillbirths, according to the Stillbirth Foundation. SIX … and in most cases, the cause is never known.

Nine months after burying Jacob, the couple found out they were expecting a third child – this time, a girl who they would name Phoebe Faith. After two tragedies, the mum’s third pregnancy gave the family hope. This time Nelles not only carried her baby to term, but gave birth to a healthy newborn.

jessica-nelles-third-child Phoebe

She details her story on the Birth Without Fear’s Facebook page.

I am strong because on October 15th, 2010 at 37 weeks pregnant we walked into our OB office and found out our son Tiberius had passed away.

I am strong because I laboured for 12 beautiful hours and gave birth to my stillborn son in a silent room.

I am strong because on October 22nd 2010, my husband and I buried our first child.

I am strong because 12 weeks after we buried our first son we found out we were expecting again.

I am strong because on May 2nd, 2011, at 18 weeks pregnant, we found out our second son Jacob would not be coming home with us, he was given a fatal diagnosis.

I am strong because despite having a fatal diagnosis we chose to carry Jacob and do everything we possibly could.

I am strong because during the next 18 weeks Jacob’s diagnosis changed into something no medical doctor had ever seen before and his prognosis became unknown.

I am strong because on September 5th, 2011, our son Jacob was born via c-section. He cried even though we were told he would not.

I am strong because for the next 2 1/2 days Jacob fought so hard to stay with us and we fought so hard to keep him comfortable and did everything we could.

I am strong because at 7:45pm on September 7th, we had to make a decision no parent should ever have to make, we pulled his life support and Jacob peacefully passed away.

I am strong because on September 14th, 2011 we buried our second child.

I am strong because 9 months after we buried Jacob we decided to try once more.

I am strong because we became pregnant with what we hoped would truly be our rainbow babe.

I am strong because at 18 weeks we found out we were having a healthy little girl.

I am strong because I carried her for 36 1/2 weeks all along knowing we could lose her too.

I am strong because on January 8th, 2013, I was induced and we were on the way to meeting our miracle babe.

I am strong because after 16 rough hours of vbac labour, our miracle baby, Phoebe Faith, was born. Crying, screaming, healthy and alive.

I am strong because even though I only parent one child, I am a mother of three.

I am strong because I have carried 3 children full term but two already reside in Heaven.

I am strong because I chose to cling onto hope and faith when everything else was against us.

I am strong because parenting a rainbow baby is a challenging time in life.

I am strong because I now live with PTSD and fight with it on a daily basis. But I REFUSE to let it define who I am.

I am strong because my hopes and dreams have been shattered but I chose to hold on and now have a beautiful little girl who is the light of my life.

I am strong because I am sharing my video about my journey with you:
http://youtu.be/g5Urhe0aq44
Please know my video does contain pictures of my boys after they have passed. If this is too much for you, please do not watch.

Follow our blog: www.tyandjacobnelles.ca
Mamas who have endured loss, don’t ever give up. Your rainbow could be one more rainy day away.

The mum writes about each baby, and how she kept going — until she got her rainbow baby (That’s Phoebe Faith). Along with her story, Nelles updates her post and adds, “I just wanted to take a moment to thank each and everyone one of you who have made my story go viral. It was my hope to give a few people some faith, hope, courage and strength but to see where it has gone leaves me speechless and humbled. I will take my time to read through each comment and message I have been sent. To all the other baby loss mamas out there, you are all strong, we are warriors of angels.”

Nelles also shares a link to a beautiful (and completely tissue-worthy) video, “I am strong because I am sharing my video about my journey with you. Please know my video does contain pictures of my boys after they have passed. If this is too much for you, please do not watch.”

Watch her video here:

You can also read more about Jessica’s story on her blog The Journey of Ty, Jacob and Phoebe.

Nelles’ post and video give hope to those mums (and mums-to-be) who’ve experienced stillbirth and miscarriage.

Belinda Jennings
Belinda Jennings is a fun-loving mum who’s a passionate advocate for community and connection. As the founder of the Mum Central Network she’s committed to celebrating the journey that is Australian parenthood. When she’s not tap, tap, tapping at the keyboard Belinda can be found happily wrangling two small boys and loving on her superstar husband. Good conversation, close friends and fine chocolate are her chosen weapons for daily survival. She believes life’s too short for bad coffee, folding fitted sheets and not wearing your favourite shoes.