So, you’ve probably heard of the various parenting styles out there.
Some mums love them. Some mums want them to kindly bugger off. Whatever the case, they are there and we can’t ignore them.
You’ve also most likely heard of the various zodiac or star signs.
But what would happen if these two things were linked?
Well, you’re about to find out. Because our expert in all things astronomy has come up with a parenting styles guide based on your star sign. It’s good news for some mums (like Cancer, for example) and not-so-great for others (like Geminis). But, hey, it’s all just a bit of fun.
So let the good times begin:
Aries: The Tiger Mum (March 21 to April 19)
Bold and ambitious, Aries mums are the epitome of the Tiger Mums. They’re tough, disciplinarian and strict, especially with schooling and sporting. They adore their kids and they roar with pride over their achievements.
Tiger Mums can generally be seen running the PTA, volunteering in the sports canteen and chauffeuring their kids to various activities throughout the week.
Taurus: The Mule Mum (April 20 to May 20)
Stubborn yet loving, Taureans are classic Mule Mums. Never heard of it? That’s because we made this style up. But it’s awesome, we promise.
If you’re constantly carrying your kids’ shit, are willing to spit on anyone who tries to cross them and feel like you’re raising little asses sometimes (okay, often), then you’re definitely a Mule Mum. Read more about it here.
Gemini: The Hot Mess Mum (May 21 to June 20)
Geminis are classic nut bags. They want to be involved in EVERYTHING for the sake of their kids, have 8 million tasks going at once and tend to have trouble getting in control of any of them.
This means the Hot Mess Gemini Mum will probably show up at the school bake sale with a coffee-stained shirt and a crappy store-bought pack of cupcakes because she forgot all about the damned bake sale. But, hey, she’s there. And that’s what counts.
Cancer: The Perfect Mum (June 21 to July 22)
Calm and intuitive, Cancers are as close to the perfect mum as you can get. Their kids are well behaved, their clothes are ironed and they ooze confidence and gentleness.
She’s also extra nice, gives great advice AND can bake yummy healthy treats. Basically, she is the Martha Stewart of the school grounds. Cancer Mums are what all mums want to be. But only the lucky ones actually are them.
Leo: The ‘Cool’ Mum (July 23 to August 22)
Social and (slightly) self-absorbed, Leo mums love to be the centre of ALL the things, making them anything but regular. They are the cool mums of the school drop-off and their kids have all the fun toys to prove it.
Leos love their kids and especially love to live vicariously through them.
Virgo: The Attachment Mum (August 23 to September 22)
Logical and earthy, Virgos are great on getting sh*t done in a no-muss-no-fuss way. And the best way to do this? Through attachment parenting, (aka baby led parenting) where mum and child remain connected as often as possible.
You’ll find the crunchy Virgo mums aren’t about to let having kids slow them down. They are the ones carrying their babies in a sling while carting 15 bags of groceries in and breastfeeding one baby while tying the other child’s shoes. Logical, practical and systematic in their approach to life, Virgo mums keep calm and carry on. Because kids are seriously way too slow to keep up.
Libra: The Authoritative Mum (September 23 to October 22)
Balanced, fair and harmonious Libra mums are the Authoritative Mums amongst us. Authoritative parents have rules and they use consequences, but they also take their children’s opinions into account.
Authoritative Libra mums are the most level-headed parents on the block. They sleep train their kids, they have strict chore charts and, amazingly enough, they have kids that actually listen to them.
Scorpio: The Unicorn Mum (October 23 to November 21)
Emotional and fiery, Scorpios are the epitome of the popular Unicorn Mum. Unicorn Mums are badass mums who love their kids but also know it’s perfectly okay to make mistakes during the journey. Wine is acceptable and so is the occasional F-bomb.
Their parenting style is simple – catch her in a good mood and she’ll poop magic glitter your way. Get her annoyed and expect to be pierced with her crazy horn.
Sagittarius: The Expertise Mum (November 22 to December 21)
Smart and knowledgable, the Expertise (or Authoritarian) Mum rules her kids by the book. She’s the boss and that’s that.
And you better believe that Boss Mum knows her stuff. She’s the one sharing the latest research from experts and listing off statistics from studies.
Capricorn: The Slow Mum (December 22 to January 19)
Patient and responsible, Capricorns rule under the classic slow parenting style, also known as Gentle Parenting.
They understand the importance of taking their sweet time and letting kids guide the way, even though they walk at a snail’s pace and want to stop and smell EVERY single rose on the way to the park. It’s all good – Capricorns are all about life in the slow lane.
Aquarius: The Helicopter Mum (January 20 – February 18)
Assertive and analytical, Aquarians are the Helicopter parents of the world, hovering ever-so-gently next to their kids and swooping in to ensure that their kids are safe and everything is a-okay.
You’ll find Helicopter parents everywhere – at the playground, on the sports’ fields and always carrying extra bug spray, baby wipes, Band-Aids, and suncream. You know, just in case.
Pisces: The Free-Range Mum (February 19 to March 20)
Empathetic and compassionate, Pisces parents tend to go with the flow, which is exactly what Free-Range Parenting is all about. Free-rangers encourage kids to function independently and make their own decisions. They let their kids play on the street, eat ice cream for breakfast (occasionally) and don’t give a darn about screen time rules.
You’ll find the Pisces parent shrugging their shoulders when their child wees in the bushes at the park or gets covered in mud at the playground. They are not afraid to take off on last-minute adventures overseas with the kids in tow. After all, kids will be kids, regardless of where they are and what routine they ignore.
So how did we do? Does your sign match your parenting style? Remember, this is all just a bit of fun. We don’t really think all Geminis are nut bags and Libras are crazy strict. Only some of them… 😉
