What happened to my pre baby self? My life has changed dramatically since becoming a mother.
I am now a different person, and I miss the old me. Very, very much. First things first, I love my son. But…
When I found out I was pregnant, it was probably one of the biggest surprises of life. So, my son wasn’t exactly a planned baby. I wasn’t on pre-natal vitamins. I was still over-working myself to deadlines. Staying out partying and generally being all about me. When I got the news, everything had to stop. No more dancing ‘til all hours of the night, no more drinking, no more soft cheese or sashimi. I thought that was all I had to give up and I thought that it was temporary. Boy, was I was wrong.
Sure, I can now eat all the Brie I can get my hands on but my party animal days are over. In becoming a mother, I feel like my previous life is now almost a distant, fading memory. I’m happy in my new life, don’t get me wrong, but I do yearn for the old me too.
Relate? Here are 10 things I never thought I’d miss about the person formerly known as Alex, now known as ‘Muuuuummmyyy!’
They don’t happen anymore, and if they do they feel less like a hangover and more like death caused by a third glass of wine. What I miss about a hangover is knowing the night before was full of dancing with friends, downing shots and laughing uncontrollably at something that wasn’t all that funny. Don’t even mention getting up with a perky toddler and a thumping head, it’s #neverdrinkingagain material.
2. My body
I knew it was all over when that first stretch mark appeared, I called my now husband crying saying my body was ruined forever. (Yes, I can get a bit dramatic!) But since having my son, I haven’t been able to drop my “baby weight” and my body has definitely changed. There are lumps and bumps where there were none. Most of the time I’m okay with it, but sometimes I look back at old photos and think, ‘Wow, I had a bangin’ body back then!’ It’s just not as easy to get back to that pre-baby bod as celebs make it look!
3. The ability to think clearly
My baby brain has stuck around and I feel like it just might never go away. Sometimes, I forget what I’m doing and I won’t remember until hours later. That’s why the car keys are in the fridge. And I’m a week late to my dentist appointment. #mumlife
Sleep-ins, naps, a whole night of sleep, any kind of sleep-related activity. God I miss the ability to choose to sleep in or to hit the snooze button. These days my alarm clock wakes up at 6:30am if not before and he’s ready to greet the day full throttle! I am still adjusting to the fact I will not ever be well rested again in my adult-life.
5. Romance and sex
These days I am way too tired to think about being romantic or sexy. Sex is great, but when you’re both knackered, it’s hard to get freaky (let alone as much just ‘do it’) as you used to pre-kids. There’s no energy, time or you have to sneak it in. Did someone say quickie? Oh yes we did.
Before getting married and having a child, I was a bit of a nomad. I would save all my pennies to go traveling. I would pick up and go overseas or for a weekend away on a whim. It’s much harder to go on a spontaneous getaway with a toddler. Even a restaurant seems like a big effort, right?
7. After-work drinks
I was there every Friday with my colleagues welcoming the weekend at the local watering hole. RIP after-work drinks, it’s just not something that happens or if it does it happens rarely and it’s usually an after-work drink, not drinks.
These days going to the toilet, showering or doing anything without an audience is unheard of. I took for granted long relaxing baths while reading a book and the candles flickering. I’m sorry I was a jerk at baths, I miss you! One day perhaps we will meet again…
9. Grown-up talk
I try and keep up with the news, but it’s tough when ABC Kids is always on. I miss having conversations about politics, fashion, heck, even about trashy TV! You don’t realize how small your vocab gets until you aren’t around other adults after being with a toddler 24/7.
10. Me, me me!
The whole the world revolves around my little person. There’s something to be said about being a free-agent with little responsibilities, nothing quite prepares you for putting yourself last after many years putting yourself at the top of your priority list.
While being a mum has meant I’ve lost the punk rock, party animal I once was, I’ve gained so much. I now place value on myself for me, not for the things I do, own or the people I know. I’m ‘Mum’, and that’s okay, in fact, it’s better than being Alex because it means I’ve got a little human who adores me just as much as I do them. The other stuff, it’s just background noise… that I only dream of occasionally!