Advice

Widow’s Heartbreak: ‘You are enough, right now, right as you are. Take the photos.’

A widow has shared a heartfelt warning this week about the significance of capturing memories with your family. ‘Take the photos’ she says. 

Michelle Steinke says she regrets not being in more photos with her late husband, admitting her body image issues held her back from getting behind the camera.

In 2009, Steinke’s husband Mitchel was killed in a plane crash, leaving her with a one-year-old son and three-year-old daughter.

“The day he died, all I cared about was the memories we made… I regret not being in the photos.”

In her candid facebook post and on her site One Fit Widow, Steinke wrote that “hindsight is always 20/20” and at the time it was her “self-hate and loathing” that kept her from posing in her family photos.

The mother-of-two and now personal trainer now admits it was foolish to hold back because she didn’t consider herself perfect.

“I can tell you my kids loved me regardless of my weight. I can tell you my husband loved me irrespective of my body,” she said.

“You can always work on improving yourself but this moment will never come again. Don’t waste it wishing you were more…You are enough, right now, right as you are.”

Since losing her husband, Steinke has lost more than 30kg but she still insists “perfection is a myth.” 

Image via Michelle Steinke 'One Fit Widow'.
Michelle lost 30kg and became a personal trainer since the death of her husband. Image via Michelle Steinke ‘One Fit Widow’.

You can read her full (and very inspiring!) facebook post below.

Mum Central last year published a similar article entitled ‘The Mother That Never Existed’ urging mums to be in the picture, no matter what! You can read it here.


Michelle Steinke: One Fit Widow 

blog post

‘I suppose we all have regrets.
We shouldn’t, but we do.
One of my biggest regrets is that I wasn’t in many photos. My self-hate and loathing kept me from taking photos of my babies and photos with the man I loved.
Hindsight is always 20/20. 


I can tell you now it was stupid. 
I can tell you my kids loved me regardless of my weight. I can tell you my husband loved me irrespective of my body.


I can tell you when he was gone and they started to grow I regretted not being in more photos and loving the life I was living when I was living it.
Hindsight is always 20/20. 


The day he died, all I cared about was the memories we made, the trips we took and the photos of our whole family. 
I regret not being in the photos.


Perfection is a myth. Even after I lost 70 pounds and found my fitness, I realized I still was far from perfect. 
You can always work on improving yourself but this moment will never come again. Don’t waste it wishing you were more.


You are enough, right now, right as you are.
Take the photos. 
Love your life.
Don’t regret what you can control…’ 

Avatar of Victoria Louis

Mother-of-two. Tea lover. Lego Ninja. Expert in carpet Play Dough extraction. Victoria Louis is a 30-something writer based in Sydney, NSW. A former marketing manager who loves to laugh there’s no topic she won’t explore. Victoria is full of opinion, big on kindness and believes the day is always better with a dash of lipstick.

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