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HELP! Wedding Dress For Sale: Worn Once By Mistake

Lauren Lawrence shot to viral stardom this week with a hilarious Buy, Swap, Sell ad begging fellow women to take a beautiful wedding dress off her hands.

But this was no normal wedding dress sale. This was a woman with a cutting sense of humour and a bad marriage to put behind her.  Can you help Lauren!?

We’ve all dated the wrong guy. Heck some of us have even married the jerk but instead of sulking, planning bunny-boiling or retreating to the couch with three litres of rocky road ice cream, this woman changed the game! Lauren Lawrence turned her bad experience into internet fame. Her witty sales pitch to get the gorgeous yet hated wedding dress from her life includes pledges of spending the money on new lingerie (you go girl!), tales of her life mistakes which include a failed DIY Brazilian wax and suggestions of wearing the dress to the pub to entice offers of free drinks.

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Read the ad in full below, we guarantee this will make you laugh! Maybe someone will even be looking for a steal and buy the dress! It’s a bargain, even with the taint of bad memories!

Good luck with your dress sale Lauren! We hope that if you take the plunge again it will be with a guy – and a dress – you don’t need to sell!

Original post here.

wedding-dress-for-sale

Wedding Dress For Sale – Worn Once By Mistake

Please help remove this beautiful Maggie Sottero dress from my life. It looks stunning on, enough to distract you from the fact you are entering into a marriage with a compulsive liar.

Will fit someone size AU 6-8 and tailored to my height (164cm). The dress is in excellent condition, unlike my marriage.

Comes with a certificate of authenticity (unlike the wedding vows). Bad luck has been removed through expensive dry cleaning. I know this for sure, because when I got it dry cleaned post-separation I became happier, more confident and discovered what it feels like to be genuinely loved and treated well in a relationship.

ORIGINALLY $3100 NEW. Asking $350 as this will cover the cost of some smoking hot lingerie from Honey Birdette.

Not getting married? That’s okay! This dress can be worn on many different occasions:

It would look great when you are washing the dishes, catching the train and while you are standing in line at Service NSW to do a name change because looking at the name you took on makes you feel nauseated and filled with more regret than a drunken one night stand you had in ’07 ….

Wear it and run after random men in the street yelling “I LOVE YOU! COME BACK!”.

Wear it to the pub and people will buy you celebration drinks. Even better, wear it to the pub, fake cry and see the sympathy drinks pour in from every guy there who would love to be your rebound. The dress will have itself paid off in booze within one night!

We all make mistakes, right? Like the time I attempted a DIY Brazilian wax and stuck my bits together, or the time I raced outside with an exploding coke can forgetting I was naked. I also made a mistake in marrying the wrong person.

I figure since my post has been getting shared all over Australia, I may as well attempt to crowdfund a divorce. Even if my efforts only get a $1 donation, it will still be a better success than my marriage.

Lauren’s Go Fund Me Page – check it out it’s hilarious!

go fund me for divorce funds

Avatar of Belinda Jennings

Belinda's a passionate advocate for community and connection. As the founder of the Mum Central Network she’s committed to celebrating the journey that is Australian parenthood. Mum to two cheeky boys, and wife to her superstar husband, they live a busy but crazy lifestyle in Adelaide. Great conversation, close friends and good chocolate are her chosen weapons for daily survival. Oh, and bubbles. Champagne is key.

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