Ever thought you were nothing like a celebrity? Well think again mumma, you’ve got more in common than you’ve actually realised.

Hey, can we have your autograph? You’re literally an A-Lister!
And even thought ‘HECK! Get Me Out of Here!?’
Yep, you’re famous babe. Here’s why.

So did you catch The Oscars?  Have you invested way too much in the Kim and Kanye saga? Are still reeling from the demise of Brangelina? Ah the world of a celebrity. A load of very famous faces whose lives seem far removed from our own existence. Or are they?

Mums and Dads, take a good hard look at yourselves. Okay we might not have the bulging bank balance, an avalanche of invites to red-carpet events, the designer wardrobe or the private jet, but the half-crazed, touch-feely, follow-you-everywhere, fan-base – sure, we’ve definitely got that covered.

There’s plenty of reasons why having kids is just like being a celebrity. So – after you’ve popped on your best sunnies and taken the obligatory Instagram selfie – read on and feel like an absolute A-lister:

You have no privacy

Someone always wants to follow you into the bathroom, there’s always a face pressed up against the shower glass. Want time alone? Tough, you’re in demand.No matter how hard you insist on personal boundaries or protecting your last shred of dignity there’s always someone who’ll watch you poop if they get the chance (just hope they don’t sell the pictures to the Daily Mail!)

You’ve slightly disconnected from reality

Blame being surrounded with groupies 24/7 (aka small children). Disconnection is a coping tool. No judgement here!

Someone always wants your attention

And they’re usually shouting your name, over and over again. (‘Mum! Mum! Mum!’)

You can’t go anywhere without a full entourage

Even if you wanted too. Hangers-on-ers everywhere.

Anything you say will come back to haunt you

‘But, Dad, Mum said you’re such a rubbish cook, you use the smoke alarm like an oven timer. Didn’t you, Mummy?’Oops. You say it once in 2007 and you’ll never live it down.

Photos you’d rather bury will come back to haunt you

Courtesy of your very own paparazzi. Scroll through your phone and reel in mild horror at what the kids have snapped. (Store changing room pics are always hilarious – not).

Someone is always firing questions at you

The toughest TV interrogators have nothing on the mini interview panel in your house.  But why? Why? WHY?

You’re under constant pressure to perform

And make every performance (or rendition of Incy Wincey Spider) your very own. Don’t even think of putting an artistic twist or personal interpretation on that piece, the critics will let you know it thumbs-down, sucked.

You have your own personal stylists

From your toddler trying to wield a comb through your hair, to your baby leaving colourful snot trails across your white shirt or the opinionated tween that tells you ‘you look so embarrassing mum…’These people dictate how you look every minute of the day.

You turn up late to most places

With your entourage, of course. And there’s the ones usually making you late. (But blame the traffic. Oh, and your stylists…)

Your bed is no stranger to random visitors late at night

But yours is usually in the form of small grumpy children, falling back to sleep laying across your head. Not newly single Brad Pitt lonely and looking for a little human comfort. Well, a girl is allowed to dream right?

Oh the glamour of it all. Parenthood. You wouldn’t be famous for quids right?

Author

Sacha has been a writer and journalist for over a decade. A happy mama of two, wife to one, Sacha is a lover of books, wine and sleep - all of which she would generally like more of!

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