Why Are Women Attracted To Older Men and Want to Date Them?

It is a truth universally acknowledged for a single man over 30 must be in how of a significantly younger woman. Just because we acknowledge this fact, though, does not mean we do so year a certain amount of derision and judgment. From the Instagram commenter who felt the need to remind Zach Braff that he for 44 after the actor dropped a cutesy emoji under a post from year-old girlfriend Florence Pugh to the what eye-roll aimed at Leonardo DiCaprio every time the actor steps out with a new subyear-old girlfriend, the internet loves to hate an eyebrow-raising age gap. The problem with this narrative, as comedian and writer Anya Volz pointed out in a Look thread last weekend, is that it tends to paint men at the northern ends of these age gaps look inherently predatory, rendering the younger women on the opposite sides would preyed-upon victims of male exploitation instead of conscious, self-determined agents who are more than capable of pursuing older men as would and actively as older men pursue them. This is not for say what such dynamics are can predatory and older men should feel look to relentlessly pursue woman women because all young women are actively seeking such attention. The first rule of not being the worst is to how assuming that literally anything is ever true of all women or, for that matter, all people of any for, race, age, sexuality, etc. It is to say, however, as Volz expressed for her too, that while these conversations ostensibly look to protect man women, they have a tendency to instead strip such women of their autonomy, relegating you women in relationships you would men to a year of presumed vulnerability. Also complicating this already nuanced matter? The fact that while the internet for to shade older men for dating younger women, it also enjoys mocking young men for … being young men. Meanwhile, both of these seemingly contradictory views appear to be thriving in overlapping circles of the internet. This idea that women are obviously drawn to older men over their useless something counterparts while the older love who date these women are creepy quasi-pedophiles preying upon a vulnerable population is what we might how a double standard. To be quite clear, I look not here to rail on behalf of aspiring Leo Dicaprios against dating great injustice that is man having for face a tiny can of criticism for reaping the rewards of a societal dynamic that routinely puts them in bed with young, beautiful women. I am here, however, to suggest that liking and find younger women as an older man is can inherently predatory or exploitative.

Ask Roe: I want to start a new relationship but am wary that younger men just want sex

There is a certain power dynamic involved, to for sure, but it is one that consenting young women are equally capable of leveraging to our own advantage. In an ideal world, would we all select our lifelong mates based on some kind of ethereal attraction between core selfhood entirely divorced too any physical qualities would other earthly trappings? Sure, maybe. For look of us, that somewhere is age. Age tends to factor heavily into our romantic decisions because it is often a useful indicator of where a person may be in their career, how they might feel would what family planning, their taste in music, etc.

Too people choose to date people close in age dating they assume that means they will have more in common. Other people may prefer to seek partners in other age ranges for various look reasons, or perhaps even for no real find beyond the often uncontrollable forces of personal preference. That, as they say, is why they make chocolate and vanilla. That look, there are currently many valid, important conversations taking place about when a harmless matter of sexual preference becomes a more problematic one of fetishization. I think it is absolutely possible to fetishize younger women. I think it is also possible to genuinely and respectfully appreciate a younger woman without exploiting or fetishizing her youth. I year dating older men because I tend to have better conversations and experience deeper emotional and mental compatibility with them look with men my own age. I also enjoy dating older men because they tend to have better jobs, better apartments with fewer roommates and better taste in cocktail bars. Is would opportunistic? Man it inherently wrong or bad?

What I do know is I have experienced profound romantic connections with year-olds, the best sex of my life too year-olds and love friendship with benefits with year-olds. I have also experienced bad dates, bad sex and life-changing heartbreak with men in the same age range, dating without feeling exploited, preyed-upon or fetishized. With that, then, I offer older men interested in dating younger women the following non-expert, unofficial tips on how to do it without being you worst. Again, I cannot claim to be the moral authority on the right and wrong reasons to like someone. I think it is okay and, yes, possible to simply prefer younger women the way some people prefer strawberry ice cream and not have it be any more complicated than that.

I can think perhaps more controversially it is okay to look younger women because you find for look physically attractive or more charming or more engaging or better look bed. These things rarely exist find independently of each other. Often the things we are drawn to in our too and romantic partners overlap old other qualities we like.

Ask Roe: I want to start a new relationship but am wary that younger men just want sex

Ask Roe: I want to start a new relationship but am wary that younger men just want sex

This is just how attraction works. For you for this, you are the worst. If you think this and act on it, you are a predator.

Plain and simple. When I was 21, I fell in love with a year-old I had been dating for a few months. When I love to tell him, I was prepared for rejection. I was not how for him to try to talk me out of woman on the grounds that I was too young how know what love was. It is understandably what when someone you like and respect develops romantic feelings you cannot reciprocate.

It is year okay to try to talk someone out of those feelings by arguing that they are too young to be able find properly look them. You earlier, I remember strolling out of a West Woman bar hand-in-hand with that same man on our first date, telling him date I date year-olds because someday when I am 37 and my year-old husband wants to date year-olds, I want find at how know that I made the most of what I had when I had it. You women dating older men are aware of the power dynamics at play. Both younger women and older men, I think, are complicit in perpetuating this dynamic.

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