First birthday parties … such a joyous and momentous occasion, celebrating the first year of any little person’s life. Â Great company, cake, maybe some party games to complete a real party atmosphere, and of course the first birthday invitation followed by some celebratory presents.
But what happens when you receive what can only be described as an extremely specific ‘demand’ from said child’s parents to make the excitement sour?
This is what happened to one beleaguered parent who felt compelled to share it on Reddit. Â The letter’s below and well we’re feeling quite gobsmacked. Â Nobody wants duplicated presents and yeah, we do have a ‘wish list’ and are all for practicality, but there are ways and means of getting your point across without offending family and friends.
Not quite sure this parent got it quite right with the ‘heads up’ email they sent to family friends about their child’s first birthday invitation.
What would you do?Â
27 Comments
Love it…kids get too much crap that people keep for sentimental reasons…
Lol my whole family is sick the day of your kids birthday sorry
Bloody hell, what brand of formula costs $80/week?
I would buy 3 tins a wèek so thats about right
3 Tins for a 1 yr old?? When they turn 1 is when they can go onto normal cows milk
Can doesn’t mean have to & some parents may feel the formula has better nutritional value?
Some people don’t use cows milk – as they are not calves, lactose intolerant, other allergies etc! I’ve never bought formula so I don’t know the costing or how many tins are required!
It could have had a bit more finesse. But I don’t really see whats so bad about specifically picking out a list of things to buy. I personally had no clue so when friends gave me a list I was happy or I gave them money. Now with my own child I put on the back on invitations a list of things my daughter is into.
Gifts are from the heart not an obligation, if you know the child give what your heart feels is appropriate. To ask what do you want me to buy or to be given a list defeats the purpose of a gift. It has at that point become an obligation. We give because we want to not because we are expected to….we at least we shouldn’t if it is meant to have meaning. If you don’t know the child / family then why are you going or even buying a gift?
You are so wrong Booth – most people (me included) would rather know what to give so the child really loves it! I would most definitely prefer to ‘suggest’ what people get my child so they don’t end up with a lot of crap they don’t want or use – I would just get rid of it which is a waste of their money!!
It does need to be done with more finesse and etiquette but otherwise
I don’t see that it is rude or disrespectful. You really need to start reading to your son though. It’s really important for boys to have Dad do it. It carries a lot of positive significance when Dad reads to their sons. So important that he develops a love of reading
before going to ANY kind of schooling.
RUDE TOTALLY. I can see their point but heavens the kid is only one Just give a cardboard box and a wooden spoon. He will be just a happy. Probably would just decline.
How about just doing a gift registry, a lot of people do that, and give it with the invite. It’s polite, doesn’t offend, and she won’t have to worry about duplicating anything. That letter can offend a lot of family and friends, it’s just in poor taste.
Just trying to figure out what 1 year old uses $80.00 worth of formula a week.
i thought this too lol
I thought a one year old would be pretty much on cow’s milk? Am I out of date here! My youngest is 6 so things may have changed. And, the first birthday is SO not about the kid anyways. It’s about the parents and the fact they survived the first year of this kids life. The people attending the party should all be bringing wine and beer and cheese for goodness sake. The one year old has NO idea it is even it’s birthday!
i guess i understand the name thing, but everything else, well the poor kid is all i can say!!!
Please leave criticism of other parents alone. These parents are doing their best… dont publicly shame them! Everyone knows its hard to cope with the clutter as
kids do get alot… so their methods shock a few people… please respect. And for the “friend” who put this letter on Reddit… im thinking you arent really that much of a friend? Please support other parents not rubbish them… we are all in this together x
I can so relate to this. Family and friends mean well, and yes we do appreciate gifts…BUT when you give a 9 month old a huge train set for ages 5++ we have to store it,.,along with all the other non age appropriate gifts. We have a room full of these ‘toys’ and books. Wished I had thought to send a list of items that we’d prefer..but maybe in a little softer way. As for formula costs for a 1 year old..no mention if their child has other health issues or requires special formula. Our child did, and was on formula until 18 months due to health so yes, the amount quoted is reasonable to cheap depending on their requirements.
Oh man! If this invitation note was written by a woman, which I suspect it is, she needs to calm the F down! She is coming across as extremely selfish and materialistic! What’s with the martyrdom Ove rat exist of formula?? If she and her husband can afford to buy the appointed gifts then they should just go ahead and do that and ask their “friends” attending the one year old’s party to please not bring a gift. That mummy needs more wine in her life!
Yes, this Momma completely overbearing and unreasonable . That being said, regarding the formula issue, some children do require specialized formulas. I would know. My son is near 7 years old and still on specialized formula. It’s about $55 a can and he goes through an entire can every day.
Wow it’s so hard having children with allergies/special requirements. Could I ask (without sounding like a judgemental *ss) what kind of formula does he require and what kind of allergies does he have?
Bahahaha! What a mental case. Has she forgotten what her child’s first birthday is all about? She should be so thankful that she has friends and family to celebrate this milestone with her and appreciate whatever they choose to bring as a gift. A gift should not be a demand, it should be what the invitee wants to give the child. Far out. This world has gone mad.
We actually do the same thing, we ask/tell family etc what our children need for Christmas/birthday’s! But we don’t sound like *ssholes when we ask…..she could’ve maybe taken a different (nicer) approach to her requests, maybe soften the language a bit??
If you don’t like it or don’t want it and can’t feel the appreciation of your friend’s generosity, then donate it to someone who will appreciate it.
We often consult amongst ourselves to avoid doubling up. I often sk the parents what they would like for their child. I also don’t want to buy something they would prefer their child not have including clothes they already have plenty of. I usually aim for a larger size even for a newborn as so many given clothes that will fit either at birth or within 6 months.
Just sell the kid (joking of course)