More Aussie mums are ditching tradition and giving their babies their surname instead of the dad’s – and we are here for it! This bold move is shaking up outdated norms and sparking conversations about identity, gender roles, and what modern families really look like. Sure, it might sound like a small decision, but picking a surname is personal and packed with meaning. So, why are mums taking charge, and what’s the buzz about breaking the rules?
Breaking the Norm
For some mums, it’s all about pride – and why shouldn’t it be? Their surname is just as rich in meaning as the dad’s, carrying culture, history, or even a legacy of personal achievements. Whether it’s tied to their roots or the name that’s seen them crush it in their careers, these women are owning their identity and passing it on.
But it’s not just about pride; it’s about flipping the script. For too long, it’s been assumed that a child’s name should automatically follow the father’s lineage – because, well, that’s just how it’s done. Not anymore. By giving their surname to their kids, these mums are challenging patriarchal norms and making a bold statement about equality. They’re showing the world that modern families don’t have to fit into the old-school mould, and honestly? It’s about time.
A Personal Touch
For many mums, giving their child their their name is an empowering choice that packs a punch. Here’s why:
- Pride in Family Heritage: The mother’s surname can carry major significance – especially if it’s been passed down through generations or has deep cultural roots. It’s more than just a name; it’s a piece of the child’s identity.
- Equality at Last: Slapping the mother’s surname on a child isn’t just a name change – it’s a statement. It’s about breaking the outdated notion that a child’s identity should reflect the father’s line, giving a big middle finger to those tired gender roles. It’s about the individual, not just the dad’s side.
- A Stronger Connection: For some mums, giving their child their surname creates a stronger bond, a way to stay rooted in who they are while navigating parenthood. It’s a reminder that they are still themselves, not just “mum.”
- Recognition for Single Mums: If the parents aren’t together, giving the child the mum’s surname is a way to highlight the mother’s role as the rock and primary caregiver. It’s a nod to her strength and importance in the child’s life.
It’s Not Always Easy
As appealing as it sounds, giving your child the mother’s surname doesn’t come without its challenges. For one, some parents might face serious side-eye from family members, especially those who cling to traditional views. Let’s face it – some people just can’t handle breaking the mould, and it might take a while for everyone to come around.
Choosing a non-traditional surname can stir up tension with family, particularly if it flies in the face of long-standing expectations. Awkward family gatherings, hurt feelings, and raised eyebrows? Yep, that can happen.
Then there’s the hyphenation route – the so-called “compromise.” Sure, you get both surnames, but it can come with a twist. Longer names mean more room for mistakes. And let’s be honest, the longer the name, the greater the chances of it being butchered on the first day of school
A Penny For My Thoughts
I have three kids. They each have a different father. I know what you’re thinking, I get a reaction every time I say that. But I didn’t go into these relationships expecting them to end, but they did. I was nineteen when I had my first and their father wasn’t the nicest guy. Plus, he was in jail when I went into labour. It made sense to give them my name, as I was now a single, teenage mum.
With my second, his father had left me before I even knew I was pregnant, and even though I reached out to mutual friends, he didn’t acknowledge us at all. Not even when I saw him at the supermarket with our son in my arms. Giving him my surname was a given.
My partner was present throughout my third pregnancy and birth,h and even still, I gave my youngest my surname. Partly because the other two had my name and partly because the people who raised me, shaped me, and saved me have that name. It was a no-brainer.
I did joke to him at the time: no ring on my finger, no last name. He did propose (years later), and I jokingly tried to talk him into taking my last name when we married, but he was as attached to his (and all the tradition about surnames) as I was to mine.
Alternatives to Consider
While the idea of giving the child the mother’s surname is gaining traction, it’s not the only way to break with tradition. There are plenty of alternatives for parents who want to modernise their approach without fully abandoning tradition.
- Hyphenated Surnames: Some parents choose to hyphenate both names, creating a new family name that combines both parents’ identities. While this can be a good compromise, it’s important to be aware of potential practical challenges like longer names and administrative confusion.
- Middle Name Surnames: Another option is to use the mother’s surname as the child’s middle name. This allows the child to carry both family names without complicating matters. It’s a subtle way of including the mother’s heritage without making it the primary focus.
- A Shared Family Name: Some couples choose to create an entirely new surname that combines elements of both family names, creating a completely fresh start. This is an ideal option for parents who feel that both names are equally significant but don’t want to choose one over the other.
- Non-Traditional Choices: Other families opt for unique naming conventions, such as giving the child a completely different surname altogether, depending on cultural practices, personal significance, or family history.
Ultimately, the choice of surname is important, and there’s no right or wrong decision. As societal norms continue to shift, we’re likely to see more families explore different ways of naming their children, reflecting the evolving roles and relationships within families. Whether you’re a mum opting for your own or you’ve decided to go the more traditional route, the decision must be made with love and a sense of individuality.
In the end, what matters is the bond you share with your child, regardless of what’s written on their birth certificate.
2 Comments
Normally if you hyphenated a name the surname becomes ……-……………
Both names are spoken as the surname
With my first child I couldn’t put the father surname as all the documents had my last name and I couldn’t change it. So I decided to put both our surname on the birth certificate which was allowed. So from that first child our last name stuck and now everyone of our children have Mum’s 6 letter – Dad’s 4 letter surname. So now they have piece of both of us.