Opinion

Real Mum Confession: I Think I Need to Break up with My Phone

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Uh-oh. Writer Hannah Macauley Gierhart has realised her passion for tech is a little too-muchโ€ฆ Hereโ€™s her plan to break up with her phone. Say, what?!ย 

I love my phone a bit much. Okay, a whole lot much. Itโ€™s a continual fountain of information, connection, news, philosophy and photos of my friendsโ€™ cute kids.

Itโ€™s kept me company in those long, dark hours of endless breastfeeding, and provided an outlet when the day is dragging her heels.

I love the way it can reveal a whole world when I need to look beyond my own walls for a moment. I relish that I can stay up-to-date with the happenings of friends and family all around the world. And share my own news instantly, of course!

However, Iโ€™ve noticed how easily I am preoccupied with it. I find my phone in my hand without even realising Iโ€™ve picked it up, I gravitate towards it in moments where I could be doing a million other things. Itโ€™s a time-sucker, an object of mass distraction. Itโ€™s a siren singing its seductive song from the corner of the room #allthetime

Iโ€™m not planning on getting rid of my phone altogether; that would be ridiculous. I canโ€™t fathom how people survived without mobile phones in the times before they were a staple of modern life. How did they let people know they were running late? Find virtually anything they needed with the swipe of a finger? Email? Take photos? Shop?

The breakup Iโ€™m proposing is more of a letโ€™s-stay-friends kind. Maybe a little itโ€™s-not-you-itโ€™s-me. Sure, I need my phone, but I donโ€™t want to be governed by it. I want it close by to capture moments of my children, not make me miss them. I want to be a present mum, not a distracted one. And hereโ€™s what I propose to do about it…

[mc_block_title custom_title=”1. Get my phone out of the way”]

Iโ€™ll stick it on the bench or shelf and only look at it when I absolutely need to. My phone is at maximum distraction when it follows me through the house. If itโ€™s stuck out of the way then I wonโ€™t be tempted to trawl the internet without noticing Iโ€™ve picked my phone up.

[mc_block_title custom_title=”2. Make sure Iโ€™m accessible, but not too much”]

Iโ€™ll take my phone off silent so I wonโ€™t miss the necessary things. I often tell myself Iโ€™m using my phone for โ€˜importantโ€™ reasons โ€“ in case I miss calls and texts โ€“ and twenty minutes of Facebook stalking will pass by before I know it. This way, Iโ€™ll know Iโ€™m contactable when needed without wasting so much time.

[mc_block_title custom_title=”3. Use my phone at appropriate times”]

Iโ€™m not proposing to go cold turkey. My phone is wonderful – in small doses. When my kids rest, when Iโ€™m sitting with a cuppa, in the eveningsโ€ฆ hello my phone-friend! I think Iโ€™ll appreciate it more when Iโ€™m using it in moderation. My phone-usage will be purposeful and productive within these healthy boundaries.

[mc_block_title custom_title=”4. Forgive myself when I blur the boundaries”]

There will probably be moments when I slip up, and thatโ€™s okay. Iโ€™m not perfect, and Iโ€™ll have grace for myself when I lapse into old habits. Iโ€™m not trying to prove anything by breaking up with my phone, so I can recognise that this is a process that will help my sanity and connection with the people in front of me, forgiving myself along the way.

So think of me as I go through phone detox. I may even get the shakes and feel a little nauseous. I may even slip and have to start my own 4 Point Program again. It will be a challenge but definitely worth the sacrifice. Iโ€™m looking forward to seeing the vibrant world around me more – and not through a screen.

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Hannah Macauley-Gierhart is a mother, writer, teacher, editor, and fiction reader. The joyous bedlam of raising young kids sees her writing at strange hours, drinking lots of tea, and loving the chaos that fuels good prose.

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