TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains information about stillbirth as well as images, which may be triggering to some.
Erin always knew she wanted a birth photographer in the room with her. She loved the amazing birth photos she’d seen other mums share and, as a labour and delivery nurse herself, she was well aware of how quickly these amazing moments go.
Sadly, at 38 weeks and four days, Erin and her husband got the harrowing news that her baby had died inside of her. This is a kind of pain we cannot even begin to imagine, but it is something that happens, more often than many realise. We lose six babies each day to stillbirth.
‘All we would be able to bring home’
Through the heartbreak, Erin and her husband decided they still wanted a birth photographer. They hired Brianna from Breezy Photography who captured their son, Henry’s beautiful entry into the world as well as their delicate goodbyes.
Erin also shares her story on Breezy Photography’s website, accompanied by her labour and birth photos.
With permission, we share her incredibly poignant story and photos with you.
There is no way to really convey the intense emotions we experienced [after discovering their son was stillborn], including the ones that arose within me knowing I would have to face an induction of labor and give birth to our lifeless child.
Everything was just so wrong about all of it. I knew immediately that more than ever did I want those photos. They would be almost all we would be able to bring home with us from this day. It was very important to me,” Erin shared.
Brianna arrived at Erin’s induction just as things started to get intense. Although Erin had never met Bri before, she immediately felt comfortable with her there.
‘Pure joy and utter heartbreak’Â
“Everything about what happened that day was so wrong and awful and scary and painful, but when it came time to push him out, it was like time slowed down and it was the most beautiful moment of my life, sacred. I felt so much connection to my son, even though his life was already gone.
I talked to him and touched his head when it began to emerge and I felt so extremely present in that moment with him. I held him close like that, feeling so much intense love for him I felt like I should have been able to love him back to life.”Â
My husband told me that he was a boy; we didn’t know ahead of time. I instantly knew his name was Henry, my sweet Henry boy. It was a moment of pure joy and utter heartbreak that I will never, ever forget.”
Brianna captured every moment and the raw emotions and powerful bond between mother and son are evident in every incredible photo.
From the intensity of the labour to the pained expression in the parent’s eyes, Bri has captured every moment with emotion and elegance.
Our hearts break for Erin and for every other parent who has experienced something similar.
We’ve only shared a snippet of the photos (you can view the whole gallery here).
‘Solidify that special moment in my mind’Â
Leaving the hospital without Henry would have been the hardest thing in the world and Erin admits that the photos Bri took mean the absolute world to her.
Having your child die inside of you at the very end is something I wish no parent ever had to go through. But if you do, I highly recommend taking as many pictures as possible, of the baby and the family, and I really, truly hope that you are able to have someone as talented and special as Brianna to take them.”
They were so incredibly beautiful and allowed me to really solidify that special moment in my mind. These pictures are some of our most precious possessions now and several are displayed around our house, as we think about and talk about Henry every day.”
Thank you Brianna and Erin would letting us share your delicate story and remind the world that stillbirth is still birth.
What to read next
- ‘I Buried my Boy at the Height of Lockdown’ Mum Shares Story of Stillbirth
- Still Six Lives – Prevent Stillbirth
- This Little Life Mattered: Child Loss Photographer’s Message to Bereaving Parents
