Sydney Mum's Devastating Message to Others after Losing her Son Two Days after his Birth

TRIGGER WARNING: This story mentions neonatal death and contains images that some may find confronting.

Like many pregnant mums, Iya Pleno’s pregnancy journey was filled with a roller coaster of emotions. During the first 20 weeks, she experienced several bleeds and quickly rushed to the ER each time. On every occasion she received the news that her baby was okay, the bleeding was normal, and was sent home without proper testing.

Her baby, a little boy, was perfectly fine and content, despite the multiple bleeds. However, in her heart, she felt like something wasn’t quite right.

‘I thought [the pain] was normal’

The Sydney mum hit 22 weeks when she noticed excess discharge, tinged with blood. As Iya tells Mum Central, she assumed it was nothing and Google confirmed this. However, the discharge continued to get worse and worse.

On the 14th of April, Iya forced herself to work a long day, ignoring the minor back pain and contractions, assuming it was simply because she was tired.

I thought the back pain and contractions were just normal because of fatigue. I was wrong,” she shares with Mum Central.

The next morning she woke up to blood. The back pain and the contractions started to get worse and Iya quickly contacted the birth unit. They told her to come straight in.

They performed an ultrasound and discovered Iya’s baby was fine. Heathy heartbeat. Perfect measurements. Everything was okay. A relieved Iya could finally breathe again.

Fully dilated at 23 weeks

However, then the doctors checked her cervix.

She was fully dilated and immediately transferred to a different hospital, which specialises in premature births. Iya felt that something wasn’t quite right all along, but she never expected this.

The goal was to delay labour for as long as possible but Iya’s baby had other plans.

Just shortly after she arrived, she felt the need to wee. A nurse urged her to use a bedpan which is when she noticed the excessive blood. Baby Sebastian was born right then and there, on April 15, 2022 (Good Friday) at 6:45pm.

Sebastian born at 23 weeks, sydney mum speaks about losing her son — Source: Supplied to Mum Central

He was 23+1 premature and weighed just 559grams, about the same weight as a loaf of bread.

According to L’il Aussie Prem Foundation, the survival rate for an infant born at 23 weeks, with the assistance of the neonatal intensive care unit, sits around 30 per cent but this depends on a number of factors.

A little fighter

As Sebastian was whisked away to the NICU, the doctors explained to her the many complications for babies born this early.

They told her about the risks. The survival rate. The health concerns.

sydney mum speaks about losing her son at 23 weeks — Source: Supplied to Mum Central

The first night I saw him with all the wires, I wanted to cry. I wanted to end his misery. I was about to tell them to take it all off and let him be.

But then he gave me a smile. That’s when I knew he wanted to fight. It’s like telling me that he’ll be fine. He can do it. I will never forget that first smile.”

Saying goodbye to Sebastian

For two days Iya watched her little fighter in the NICU.

He was 17 weeks premature, but he was strong and determined!

mum central — Source: Supplied to Mum Central

On Easter Sunday, Sebastian’s health took a turn for the worse.

The doctors found out that he was having a brain bleed. It’s stage 4 so there’s nothing they can do as it happens to some premature babies.

Unfortunately, Sebastian was one of them.

I watched as they remove all the support that was keeping him alive. I held him in my arms as he peacefully joined the Angels above.”

Just two days after his unexpected birth, Sebastian grew his angel wings, on Sunday 17 April 2022. Easter Sunday.

Fight for what you think is not normal

Through the pain and sadness, Iya reached out to Facebook group, PMA, to share her heartbreaking story of losing her son and to remind expecting mothers to always trust their instincts.

The regret and guilt of me not seeking help gets me every day. The regret of working too much and the regret of me ignoring all the signs is just awful. If only I could’ve prevented it from happening.

So please, if something is wrong and doesn’t feel right, seek for help IMMEDIATELY. Listen to your body and take care of yourself because you’re carrying the precious life inside of you.

May this be a lesson learned for everyone. This is the hardest lesson for me. The painful one too. I shared my story so that other mums could fight for what they think is not normal.”