Here’s 20 cheeky reminders that you’re a mum – what are yours?
1. You find yourself rocking the shopping trolley back and forth despite the fact that bub is at home with daddy.
2. You use your own saliva to clean your child’s face.
3. You hope tomato sauce is a vegetable because it’s the only one your child eats.
4. Your child throws up, and you catch it.
5. Someone else’s kid throws up at a party, and you keep eating.
6. You mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.
7. You hire a babysitter because you haven’t been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.
8. You can’t bear to give away baby clothes – it’s so final.
9. You find yourself cutting your husband’s sandwiches into unusual shapes.
10. You receive more compliments on your pram than your shoes.
11. You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re equal.
12. You donate to charities in the hope that your child won’t get that disease.
13. You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
14. You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi’s mother.
15. You only have time to shave one leg at a time.
16. You cling to the high moral ground on toyweapons, while your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.
17. You hear your mother’s voice coming out of your mouth when you say, “Not in your good clothes!”
18. You stop criticising the way your mother raised you.
19. You read that the average five year old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is above average.
20. You say at least once a day “I’m not cut out for this job”, but you know you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world!