Date nights. We all want them, but we never seem to get around to organising them. Between ferrying around the kids and work commitments, they just get pushed to the wayside.
For those of you who haven’t heard of them, date nights are planned and intentional time a couple spends together, usually outside the regular routine of daily life, to nurture and strengthen their romantic relationship. It’s time you get to spend with your partner in an adult setting, without your kids, where you get to focus on the two of you.
How can date nights help my relationship?
Date nights are a way to keep the spark alive and contribute to a romantic partnership’s overall health and happiness.
You were people and partners before you became parents. Date nights can help you remember this!
13 reasons why date nights can strengthen your partnership:
1. Maintain emotional connections. Date nights allow you both to strengthen your emotional ties. Having meaningful conversations and sharing activities enables you to understand each other better. You learn what makes each other tick outside of being parents.
2. Build trust between you. Spending time where it’s just the two of you builds trust, trust that you see each other as more than parents or partners. Trust that you ‘get each other’.
3. Enhance communication. It’s a chance to work through any issues, resolve any conflicts, and make plans for the future, all without being interrupted by a baby or small child needing your attention.
4. A great stress relief. I’m not talking about the more amorous date night activities. Just having a safe space to unwind with each other and be together is a fantastic stress reliever. The naughty stuff helps, too!
5. Create memories. It’s become so automatic to whip out a camera and capture our kids doing something super cute, weird, messy, or new. But we don’t always think to do the same with our partners. Doing things for the two of you and capturing the moments is a great way to have a tangible memory of some great times.
6. Keep the fire burning. There’s something exciting about pampering yourself, wearing something that makes you feel sexy and confident and finishing the night in each other’s arms, especially if you have an overnight babysitter and book a hotel room. Keeping the physical side of your relationship mutually satisfying is as important as the emotional connection.
7. Show you’re both committed. It takes a concentrated effort to make a relationship work. Especially when you add kids into the mix. A regular date night shows you’re both committed to investing in your relationship outside your role as parents.
8. Decrease the chance of separation. Actively making time for each other is a great way to keep the engine running in your relationship. Couples who play together stay together.
I am single – very, very single. My last relationship ended three years ago, very suddenly – which is a story for another day. We had one date in our entire 16-year relationship. And I often wonder if it would have made a difference if we had put each other first more.
9. Fun. Sometimes, it’s that simple. Having fun together, such as getting out of your routine to shoot paintballs at your partner, is fun and maybe a little bit cathartic.
10. Learn new things about each other. We are constantly growing and changing as people. Spending quality time together allows you both to discover new things about each other.
11. Get to surprise each other. Planning dates for each other is a perfect way to show your partner how well you know them, introduce them to something you love, or challenge you both to an adventure.
12. Prevent burnout. Taking a few hours, or a night, to be away from home just the two of you (or send the kids to a trusted friend or relative and spend the night at home) , can give you a much needed, and well-earned break from responsibilities. You can’t be ‘on’ all the time. It’s not healthy.
13. Set a standard and an example. Date nights show you and your spouse that you’re both important in the scope of your family. But it also shows your kids how to maintain a relationship and how to value their future partner.
Date nights can be as simple as ordering food and watching a TV show together or an entire night away with dinner and a room. The important thing is you do it regularly. Put the time and effort into keeping your relationship thriving. You’re a team, and that takes work.
If you’re having trouble in your relationship and need to speak to someone, visit Family Relationships Online.
