A divorce lawyer can be a crucial ally when navigating the end of a marriage. Divorce hasn’t always been an easy topic to discuss, especially for women who, for generations, faced stigma and judgment when their marriages ended. Many remained in unhappy or even harmful relationships out of fear—fear of being shamed, seen as a failure, or facing life alone.
But times have changed, and so has the conversation around divorce. More people now recognise that leaving a marriage that no longer serves them isn’t a failure—it’s a courageous step toward a happier, healthier life. As divorce becomes more common, the stigma is fading, empowering individuals to prioritise their well-being. A divorce lawyer plays a vital role in guiding people through the legal, emotional, and financial complexities of separation, helping them move forward with confidence and security.
Divorce Lawyer speaks to the Morning Show on What NOT to do!
Family Lawyer, Fidan Shevket, appeared on Sunrise to discuss the dos and don’ts of divorce, specifically focusing on five things that should never be done during this time. The segment was part of a series called “I Would Never,” where the lawyer shared insights from her experience in family law.
1. Never Move Out of the Family Home
Shevket advised never to move out of the family home during a separation. She explained that the person who leaves the home often ends up in inferior accommodation, which gives the spouse remaining in the family home a significant advantage. The person who stays in the home may become complacent, delaying the process of moving forward.
“The person who moves out is always disadvantaged. They’re usually in inferior accommodation and the person who’s in the family home is what we like to say ‘sitting pretty in the family home’ – they’re in no hurry to get on with it.”
2. Never Just Have a Joint Account
She emphasised the importance of having access to personal money during marriage. She recommended that each spouse have separate accounts, with their pay going into their own accounts, especially after the breakup. It is crucial to have financial independence and transparency, ensuring that one partner is not left in the dark about the family’s wealth or debt. The only joint account should be for joint expenses (rent/mortgage, utilities, food, etc), paid into by each partner.
“Especially after you break up, move your money into your own bank account”
3. Never Turn a Blind Eye to Your Financial Position
One key tip shared was never to ignore your financial position during the marriage. Shevket stated that many people, particularly women, often trust their spouses with financial matters and are left unaware of the full financial picture. It’s vital to be proactive and understand your financial situation, especially when preparing for a divorce.
“Know your family wealth and your debt. A lot of people leave that to their spouse, then afterwards they’re lost…”
4. Never Give the Ring Back
Shevket suggested keeping the engagement as a symbol of self-worth and using it to fund your legal fees if necessary. The ring, being a significant and valuable piece of jewelry, can be an important asset during divorce proceedings, and the lawyer argued that the spouse who leaves the marriage should be entitled to it.
“Never ever give the ring back. If anyone is selling of the family jewellery to fund the litigation, let it be you. Sell it and use it to fund the lawyer.”
5. Never Blindly Pay the Divorce Lawyer’s Invoice
It’s important to thoroughly review any bills before paying, as a simple error in data entry or miscalculation could result in paying for services that weren’t meant for you. Divorce settlements and legal procedures are often complex, and errors in invoicing can occur. Ensuring that the invoice is accurate and reflects the services rendered is vital to avoiding unnecessary financial strain. Always take the time to verify the charges before sending any payment, as these discrepancies can often go unnoticed and lead to paying for unnecessary or incorrect items.
Divorce can be challenging and emotional, but with the right legal guidance, individuals can navigate these turbulent times more effectively. By being proactive about financial matters and understanding what actions to avoid, people protect their interests and confidently move forward.
