Oh, all the completely gross things we have to deal with as parents. What mum or dad hasn’t had to deal with a mid-drive round of car vomit (or at least heavy spit-up) in the car seat?
That said, dad Ben Patterson’s car-ride barf story might just top the best of the best (or should it be worst of the worst?) tales.
Patterson was driving the kids while switching cars so his wife could have the night out with friends. Applause for dad letting mum have some time to herself, right? But, as he drove his toddler son Declan began vomiting. Not just vomiting, but the explosively rancid kind that instantly makes you want to gag. And, that’s exactly what happened.
Captured for the rest of us to get a good laugh at on text, Patterson snapped a picture of Declan and sent it to his wife. Patterson later posted the screenshots from the texts on Facebook, getting well over 100,000 shares almost immediately.
Shortly after his texts started, Patterson also began vomiting. As a sympathetic vomiter, the dad couldn’t stand the smell. Pulled over on the side of the road, the man threw up on the lawn near the car.
But, wait – it gets better (or for that matter, worse). As the dad hunched over a suburban lawn vomiting, the home owner called the police. Why? She assumed that he must be drunk – and driving, with kids in the car. Obviously, he wasn’t. Patterson continued texting his wife. With no response!
After the police arrived, and administered a breathalyzer test, Patterson was cleared and allowed to leave. While we’ve all had those kid-throw-up mishaps as parents, this one (and the ensuing text exchange) was priceless.