The journey to motherhood can be challenging and emotional. For one woman, let’s name her Laura, this journey took an unexpected and heartbreaking turn that left her questioning everything she thought she knew about her family and friends after having a surrogate baby with an old college friend.
At 36 years old, Laura and her 35yo husband had been together for nearly a decade, with seven years of marriage under their belt, and wanted to start a family. She never imagined she would be turning to a Reddit thread for advice when her life fell apart.
It turned from a dream into a nightmare!
The Struggle To Conceive
After years of being unable to conceive, she discovered she had a medical condition that prevented her from carrying to term. In the hope of increasing her fertility, she underwent major surgery to remove uterine growth. Unfortunately, some complications led to a partial hysterectomy, leaving her devastated.
The silver lining to this, was Laura still had her ovaries which led her and her husband to explore surrogacy. It’s incredibly expensive, but one of her old college friends came to her aid and offered to carry their baby for them. She had two children of her own and knew what pregnancy involved, and was prepared to help the married couple out with their dream of becoming parents.
So, after two unsuccessful IVF attempts, her friend became pregnant and delivered a son for the couple.
She Just Didn’t See The Signs
New mum Laura was thrilled that finally her little family was complete. After the birth, she was busy and happy and returned to work after four weeks of parental leave. She was working her regular job and two part-time jobs to cover the financial side of the friend being the couple’s surrogate, which she says is part of why she missed the blatant red flags.
Laura says that before their son arrived, her friend started spending more time with her husband. She would often come home from her weekend job and find her friend already at their house. She chalked it up to this woman innocently trying to get to know the man better since she would hopefully be carrying their child soon.
Then, she noticed her son’s eyes were brown when she and her husband had blue eyes. But she brushed this concern off after she found out about recessive genes and that this was sometimes possible.
An Unavoidable Truth about this Surrogate Baby
But when she took her son to the doctor, she was left with no other option but to ask questions.
After a metabolic panel and routine blood tests, the new mother discovered her son had a blood type that made it impossible for him to be her son. The boy had B+ blood whereas she had A+ and her husband O+.
Concerned the fertility clinic had messed up, she began preparing in case she had to file a malpractice suit against the clinic. She had a DNA parentage test done and the results destroyed her.
Her son, the boy she had raised from birth for two years, wasn’t hers.
But he was her husbands.
The Confession
Her husband finally confessed.
He’d had an affair with the college friend and thought he was the fertility problem. He didn’t think the friend would get pregnant because he always pulled out. The fact that they conceived this baby ‘the old fashioned’ way, something she couldn’t do, made her livid.
Laura was now facing a triple betrayal.
- Her husband cheated.
- Her friend slept with her husband.
- Her son, the boy she raised from birth and loved with all her heart, wasn’t hers.
She said she felt white-hot rage and delirium and immediately left, booking into a hotel for a week before going home to her parents.
She left her son with her husband and has filed for divorce, cut off contact with her ‘friend’, and is looking into how to legally give up her rights to the child so she doesn’t have to see the betrayal every day or owe child support for a child that isn’t hers.
Unfair Expectations
Her husband and former friend kept apologising to her and admitted they were wrong. Then they started telling her she was being immature and heartless to give up on her son. Her own family tried to persuade her to keep the boy saying it isn’t blood that makes a family.
Some of her friends admitted they wouldn’t be able to accept an ‘affair baby’. She said she would rather adopt later with a trustworthy partner.
I just want a clean break and a fresh start.
Reddit and Social Expectations
The comments on her AITA post were varied, with many suggesting she sue her ex and former friend to recoup the money she worked three jobs to provide for the surrogacy, and for the emotional damage she suffered.
Others understood where she was coming from and the desire for a clean break. Some questioned the authenticity of the post because she never mentioned how she felt about the child before or after this discovery.
Others thought it was unusual for such bloodwork to be performed on a two-year-old without reason and the fertility drugs required by the surrogate should prevent her from ovulating her own eggs.
Overwhelmingly, the OP received support for her wanting to walk away.
I’m not here to decide if this is a fake story or not. I find it infuriating how society expects women to endure the impossible, especially in parenting. When a woman faces betrayal, like in this story, people expect her to “suck it up” and keep raising a child born out of deceit.
Meanwhile, men in similar situations are often advised to walk away without guilt. The double standard is glaring: women are pressured to be endlessly forgiving, empathetic partners, no matter the cost to their own well-being. It’s a twisted, unfair expectation that devalues women’s right to set boundaries and prioritise their own mental health.
What do you think about how she handled this? What would you do if you were in her shoes?
