Hey Mama, I know you’re tired. Your baby won’t sleep, and the clock says it’s some ghastly hour in the morning. I’ve been there. You’re at your wits’ end, holding your phone in one hand and a wide-awake baby in another. Well, you’ve come to the right place, lovely … we’re here to help.
Certified sleep consultant and midwife Bianca Burge has the answers to why your baby won’t sleep. And remember too, it’s not your fault – you’re doing amazing. Now, read on for Bianca’s tips!
7 Reasons Your Baby Won’t Sleep
1. Your baby may not have learned the skill to self-settle and resettle
It is important to understand the meaning of two terms: self-settling and resettling. Self-settling means the ability to fall asleep without any assistance, while resettling means the ability to fall back to sleep after waking up.
These skills are usually developed around four months of age when a baby’s sleep pattern and circadian rhythm are matured. To help your baby develop these skills, there are three critical parts to focus on:
- Establish a consistent routine that is appropriate for your baby’s age.
- Use an age-appropriate settling technique. Several techniques, such as shush pat, pick up, put down, spaced soothing, or gradual withdrawal, are available.
- Practice your chosen technique consistently every time you put your baby to sleep and every time they wake up.
Self-settling and resettling skills are usually developed around four months of age when a baby’s sleep pattern and circadian rhythm are matured.
2. They may not be getting the required amount of sleep
This can be one of the most common reasons your baby won’t sleep. Firstly, ensure that your baby is not overtired or under-tired. You can work this out by focusing on their awake windows until they are four months old and then focusing on your set routine.
A baby who catnaps (sleeps for one sleep cycle, usually 30-40 minutes) will likely be overtired if they have multiple micro naps throughout the day, as they are not dipping into their deep sleep cycle. To combat this, teach your baby the skills of self-settling and resettling without needing a sleep association, such as rocking, holding, feeding, and replacing dummies.
Focus on their awake windows until they are four months old, and then focus on your set routine.
3. Their sleep environment
Ensuring your baby’s sleep space is conducive to good sleep is essential for promoting self-settling and resettling. White noise is familiar to babies, as they have been hearing it in utero for the past nine months.
To achieve optimal results, aim to set the decibels at around 60-65 and play it with a machine rather than an iPhone or iPad, as these devices emit high-pitched frequencies that can irritate the baby’s ears.
A pitch-black room is crucial from around 6–12 weeks, when babies begin to produce their own melatonin and catnapping starts. This will encourage linking cycles as darkness triggers the production of melatonin. Keeping the room as minimal as possible and avoiding hanging anything over the cot to limit stimulation is recommended.
A pitch-black room is crucial from around 6-12 weeks when babies begin to produce their own melatonin and catnapping starts.
4. There is no consistency or predictability in their sleep times
Consistency and predictability are crucial to establishing a routine when a baby won’t sleep. For newborns up to 3 months old, focusing more on their awake windows and encouraging patterns throughout the day is recommended.
For instance, bathing at the same time every night can help them understand that it’s time for a long sleep and encourage winding down before bed to let them know they are about to go to sleep.
When babies reach four months of age, they start to establish a strict routine during the peak times of melatonin throughout the day.
Bathing at the same time every night can help them understand that it’s time for a long sleep and encourage winding down before bed to let them know they are about to go to sleep.
5. They may be overstimulated
If your baby is having difficulty falling asleep at their usual time after you’ve checked for other potential concerns, it could be due to overstimulation. Overstimulation can occur when a baby hasn’t had enough time to calm down after an intense activity, such as playing in the Jolly Jumper or on a play mat with lots of noise and colours.
Establishing a calming routine is essential to helping your baby wind down and prepare for sleep. During the day, this can be as simple as taking your baby into their room and turning down the lights to read them a quiet story, cuddle them, or sing a song. Try giving your baby a warm bath, feeding them milk, and putting them to bed in a dimly lit room at night.
To help your baby wind down and prepare for sleep, it’s essential to establish a calming routine.
6. Is it hunger or habit?
It is natural for parents to worry about their babies going hungry at night. During the newborn phase, we instinctively respond to all their nighttime wake-ups with a feed. Newborns usually need it; they often require multiple feeds throughout the night, which is normal.
As babies grow older and start eating solid foods around four to six months of age, their nighttime calorie needs decrease. Babies naturally regulate calorie intake by eating more during the day to compensate for long stretches of sleep at night.
Here are five questions to ask yourself to see if your baby is waking for habit or hunger.
- Can they fall asleep on their own, or do they need a feed to sleep?
- When they wake up, can they go back to sleep without feeding?
- When they wake for a feed, are they gulping the milk or just having a few sucks and falling back to sleep?
- They wake often to feed and fall asleep whilst feeding.
- When they wake in the morning, are they gulping the milk, or are they having a reduced feed?
As babies grow older and start eating solid foods around four to six months of age, their nighttime calorie needs decrease.
7. Physical discomfort
Babies cry like adults when they are in pain. The reasons for their discomfort may vary from teething, wind pain, illness to constipation. It is essential to be aware of the possible causes and treat them appropriately. ‘
If your baby is unwell, you should be more hands-on with settling and feeding them more frequently if required. If they have wind pain, ensure that you sit them up for a period before laying them back down.
If your baby is teething, you can offer pain relief to ease their pain. If your baby is experiencing stomach pain, it’s essential to consider the food you consume if you are breastfeeding. Some foods can pass through the breast milk and cause discomfort to your baby’s stomach.
If your baby is formula-fed, ensure you feed them the appropriate amount of milk according to their age, and pay attention to their signs of being full.
If your baby is unwell, you should be more involved in settling it and feeding it more frequently if necessary.
It can be hard to get your little one to sleep when it just feels impossible. Be gentle with yourself mama. You and your baby will find your sleep routine eventually, and there will come a time when you will stop searching ‘my baby won’t sleep’ at 3 am. We promise.
Bianca Burge is a trusted midwife and certified sleep consultant
through her business Plan B.
Bianca prides herself on supporting and empowering parents to achieve a restorative night’s sleep. With well-researched science at the core of her sleep and sleep deprivation support, Bianca helped over 3,000 little ones get better sleep.
