I had the absolute privilege of attending Oprah in Conversation here in Adelaide with a group of friends, and I am still trying to absorb the power of what we witnessed. Oprah was everything you hope she will be and somehow even more – calm, centred, funny, grounded, spiritually anchored and overflowing with the kind of wisdom you only earn through courage, trauma, triumph, heartbreak, resilience and a lifetime of doing the work on yourself.
It was not just a talk, it was a masterclass. A deep, soulful unravelling of what it means to live with intention, clarity and compassion in a world that is noisy, unpredictable and often overwhelming. It was the kind of night that makes you sit up a little straighter, look inward a little deeper and ask yourself, Who am I becoming, really?
These are the biggest lessons she shared, the stories behind them and the reminders we all needed.
1. We Are Here To Grow Into the Truest, Highest Version of Ourselves
Oprah set the tone early, reminding us that our purpose is simple but not easy: to grow into the truest and highest expression of ourselves.
“We are all here to grow into the truest, highest expression of ourselves.”
Not the most successful version.
Not the most impressive.
Not the busiest.
Just the most authentic.
She explained that you know that it’s time to leave a job, a relationship or a chapter of life when you stop growing. When you feel the ceiling. When you can’t stretch anymore. When your spirit feels like it’s shrinking rather than expanding.
“When you have grown all you can in one place, it is time to move.”
You could feel the whole arena inhale at once. We all knew exactly what she meant.
2. You Do Not Become What You Want, You Become What You Believe
This was one of the most powerful moments of the night.
Oprah shared openly about her beginnings. A poor Black girl in rural Mississippi, raised without running water, born into a life where nobody expected anything of her.
But she had one thing many people never develop: absolute belief.
She believed she could rise.
She believed she could do anything.
She believed she was worthy.
“You don’t become what you want, you become what you believe.”
If deep down you believe you’re too old, too late, too broken, too much or not enough, your belief becomes your cage.
When you’re stuck, ask yourself:
What belief is holding me here?
3. Life Sends Whispers Before It Sends Problems
This was classic Oprah, and the audience loved it.
Life speaks to you all the time. First is starts softly, like a whisper. If you keep ignoring it, it gets louder and louder.
The soft moments:
“That doesn’t feel right.”
“That person’s energy is off.”
“This job is draining me.”
“I’m not myself here.”
If you ignore the whisper, it becomes a pebble.
Ignore the pebble; it becomes a rock.
Ignore the rock; it becomes a crisis.
Ignore the crisis, and it becomes a disaster.
“Life will turn up the volume until you pay attention”
The moment you stop and ask, What is this here to teach me?
The whole situation begins to shift because understanding dissolves fear.
4. Doubt Means Don’t!
This one was simple, punchy and unforgettable.
When you are unsure, do not act.
When you have to ask ten people what you should do, it means you already know you shouldn’t.
When you feel confusion instead of clarity, pause.
Clarity doesn’t come from other people.
Clarity comes from stillness and self-trust.
You don’t need anyone to tell you what you should wear, how you look or what you should do. If you need them to tell you, then deep down you know the answer is don’t.
“Doubt means don’t. Until you are clear, do not move.”
5. Find the Work That Feels Like Coming Home to Yourself
Oprah shared an incredible story about being pushed off air in her early twenties after a disastrous French perm left her bald on TV. Her boss didn’t want to pay out her contract, so they moved her to a little talk show just to run out her final months. What they thought was their easy way to see her out of her contract actually set her up
But that “demotion” became her destiny.
The moment she sat in that chair, she felt something she had never felt before.
She felt like she had come home to herself.
What felt like failure was actually direction.
“You need something in your life that feels like home. Even if it’s not what pays the bills yet.”
Purpose doesn’t always arrive wearing glitter. Sometimes it comes disguised as disappointment.
6. Midlife, Menopause and Reinvention
Oprah was honest, raw and funny as she spoke about menopause … the fear, the symptoms, the misdiagnoses, the battles to be taken seriously, the loneliness of not knowing what was happening in her own body.
“Menopause shifts you into a new way of being.”
She said menopause is not the end, it’s a shift.
A cracking open.
A rebirth.
A season where:
- The disease to please dissolves
- Clarity sharpens
- Health becomes essential
- Purpose becomes louder than fear
She told us that at 71, she has never felt physically stronger or more in control of her wellbeing, proof that it is never too late to become your strongest self.
“It is never too late to become the strongest version of yourself.”
7. Strength Multiplied by Strength Equals Power
Every challenge, every heartbreak, every illness, every betrayal and setback has been building something inside you.
Your pain did not break you; it built you.
Your story is not a burden; it’s a foundation.
When strength meets strength, that is where true power is born.
And when strength meets strength, that is where power appears.
She spoke of the big trend in the USA of grey divorce (divorce in older couples). Her recent podcast on “grey-vorce” was instrumental. In the US, the divorce rate for people over 50 is DOUBLE the rate of people under 50, and for people over 65 it’s TRIPLE the rate.
People are so used to claiming they are ‘starting over’ when they separate or divorce. That’s untrue.
“You are not starting over, you are starting from wisdom.”
Your darkest moments were not detours. They were training.
The things you think broke you actually built you.
They created depth.
They created empathy.
They created power.
And that power waits for recognition.
What a fresh new perspective.
8. Everyone Wants to Be Seen and Heard
After thousands of interviews with celebrities, survivors, everyday people and even criminals, Oprah noticed the same thing.
Almost everyone asked…
“Was that okay?”
Because at the heart of every human being is one longing:
See me.
Hear me.
Tell me I mattered in this moment.
She said in every argument, every heated conversation, and every moment of disconnection, what people are really saying is:
“Do you hear me? Do you understand me?”
Because being heard is the medicine.
Think about the last conversation you had. When you got into disagreement with your kids, with your spouse or with your partner.
What are you really arguing about?
What do you want me to know?
Do you hear me? Do you see me?
That’s what you want to know. Am I saying anything that’s meaningful to you, and every encounter that you have, that’s what the person is looking for?
They’re looking for your validation, and you’re looking for theirs in one form or another, and that’s what I learned. That’s what it means. Did it get through? Did we communicate? Connect? Did it matter?
So think about it the next argument that you’re in, if you stop in the middle of it and say “I hear you” and then repeat back to the person exactly what it is, you’ll find it.
9. Intention Shapes Every Outcome
This was one of the most important principles of Oprah’s career.
Every action has an intention behind it.
And the intention, not the action, determines the result.
If your intention is ego, recognition or proving yourself, you will feel the struggle.
If your intention is alignment, truth and purpose, everything flows.
Before you act, ask:
What is my real intention here?
Clean intention creates clean outcomes.
“When your intention is clean, the outcome will always be right.”
If it is ego, she knows to stop.
Every mistake she has ever made, she said, came from ignoring this principle.
10. Choose Spiritual Partnerships and Teams That Help You Grow
In love, friendships, work and family, Oprah now aims for spiritual partnership … a relationship between equals who are committed to each other’s growth.
If the people closest to you don’t grow with you, don’t support your evolution or don’t match your values, you are losing time.
“You can’t rise to greatness with people who are not rising too.”
Choose people who lift, not limit.
Greatness requires great teams.
Which means choosing people who elevate you rather than diminish you.
11. Maya Angelou, The Woman Who Helped Shape Oprah’s Soul
One of the most moving parts of the night was when Oprah spoke about her deep, lifelong bond with the legendary poet Maya Angelou.
She discovered Maya’s book at 14 and realised, for the first time, that another young Black girl had lived through similar trauma, including sexual assault at a young age. It was the first time she felt truly understood on the page.
Years later, when Oprah met Maya in person, and Maya instantly recognised something in her.
She asked, “Who are you, girl?” … the question Oprah would spend decades answering.
Maya became a mentor, mother figure, teacher and anchor.
And it was Maya who taught Oprah one of the most important lessons of her life:
“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.”
Not the twentieth.
Not when you’re exhausted.
Not when you’re clinging to potential.
The first time.
Oprah also shared a piece from Maya’s poem Our Grandmothers, the line that became her armour:
“I come as one, but I stand as ten thousand.”
Oprah says she feels that truth in her bones, that she is supported, guided and uplifted by the spirits of those who came before her.
It is a reminder that none of us stands alone.
“People won’t remember what you say, but they remember how you made them feel”
12. You Are a Miracle, and Your Life Is Not an Accident
Oprah ended her conversation with a message that felt like a blessing.
The exact timing that formed you, the moment the egg and sperm collided at the precise millisecond, is a miracle.
Everything you have lived through, survived and risen from has shaped your empathy and deepened your compassion.
“Be a force for good
Astonish this world with your kindness.
Let gratitude end your day.
Let faith guide your next step.
And do not ignore a vision that expands your life.
If you needed a sign to rise, to act, to shift or to step into your next chapter…
this was it.
