Remember when the terrible twos were meant to be the hardest stage? At least back then you could scoop up your toddler and distract them with a banana or Bluey. Now you are staring down adolescence … the wild ride otherwise known as the tween years.
If you are wondering about the real meaning of tweens, it is this: all the drama of a teenager inside the body of a 12 year old who still wants nuggets cut into triangles.
Here are the 13 elements of parenting a tween to give you the insight and reassurance you need!
1. Hormones Have Entered the Chat
This is not a drill. Tweens are flooded with hormones that make Melbourne weather look predictable. They demand freedom but still expect you to act as chef, chauffeur, and therapist. Say yes and you are a pushover. Say no and you are ruining their life. Welcome to terrible tweens.
2. Friends Trump Family Every Time
Once upon a time, your opinion mattered. Now your child takes their cues from TikTok, group chats, and netball mates. You suggest a jumper, they seek peer approval. You share advice, they fact check with a stranger online. This is the tween meaning in real time … your opinion counts for less than a ring light influencer.
3. Goodbye Blankie, Hello Body Spray
The bedroom that once smelled like baby lotion now reeks of body spray and dirty sneakers. Your 12 year old will treat scuffed shoes as a national crisis. Branded joggers, gaming chairs, overpriced hoodies, this is not indulgence, it is survival in the savage arena of tweens. And yes, your wallet will cry.
4. Screens Rule Their World
Tweens live online. Midnight messages, YouTube marathons, Fortnite binges. Phones are not just devices, they are identity, social status, and lifelines. Without limits, screens consume every hour. With limits, they declare you have destroyed their happiness. Parenting a 12 year old is basically running screen time peace talks.
5. The Endless Negotiations
The terrible twos had tantrums. The terrible tweens come armed with treaties. Every issue is up for debate … bedtimes, pocket money, homework. They will argue like seasoned lawyers, twisting your words and sniffing out loopholes. Stay calm, hold the line, and remember: this is normal adolescence, not personal war.
6. School, Sport and Big Feelings
Assignments pile up. Coaches push hard. Friendship drama erupts over the tiniest things. One moment they sob over maths, the next they are doubled over laughing. Help them name their feelings … frustrated, embarrassed, proud … because once it has a label, it is easier to handle. Celebrate effort, not just results.
7. Food, Sleep and the Vanishing Sock
Tweens eat like small rugby teams. Stock the fruit bowl and guard protein like treasure. Sleep is crucial. Tired tweens are feral tweens. As for laundry, accept reality: socks vanish, never to be seen again. Buy more and move on. Somewhere, a secret sock society is run entirely by 12 year olds.
8. Your Relationship Needs a Rebrand
Parenting a tween is about connection, not constant correction. Swap lectures for curious questions: Who made you laugh today? What was the worst bit? Keep chats casual in the car. Say yes to small invitations, even servo snacks count. In adolescence, little moments build the big bond.
9. Boundaries Are Love in Action
Caving feels easier, but boundaries are proof of love. Pick a few non-negotiables: respectful language, homework before gaming, devices out of bedrooms. These rules are not mean. They are the guardrails that help tweens feel safe while they test independence.
10. Pick Your Battles (and Laugh Often)
Let the hair disasters happen. Let the fashion experiments live. Save your energy for safety, respect, kindness. And never forget humour. Eye rolls, slammed doors, “I hate this family” … all prime comedy material once the dust settles.
11. The Kid Is Still in There
Amid the chaos, you will catch glimpses of your little one. The tween who still wants a cuddle when sick. The 12 year old who lights up when you cheer at soccer. Hold onto those moments. They remind you this stage, like the terrible twos, will pass.
12. This Too Shall Pass
Yes, tweens are smelly, moody, and relentless. But they are also funny, curious, and brave. They are testing independence, stumbling into crushes, building resilience. This messy middle of adolescence is exhausting, but also extraordinary.
13. You Have Got This
No one parents tweens perfectly. We are all winging it with coffee, chocolate, and deep breaths. But here is the truth: one day the body spray will fade, the eye rolls will stop, and your tween will actually thank you. Until then, buckle up for the wild ride of terrible tweens.
