Have you noticed that as soon as you have a baby, everyone you run into has something to say? It’s even worse when you’re a twin mum.
When you have a baby, strangers offer you advice, they tell their own stories or detail the labour their aunt went through. Always something to be said.
In most cases, people are trying to be friendly and simply want to start a chat. But sometimes the things that they say may come across rude or intrusive. And mums of twins or triplets seem to encounter a few more quirky and intrusive questions.
Check out our list below of things you should NEVER say to a twin mum.
Were they naturally conceived?
It is a question that many people ask, and they think that it is completely appropriate to do so.
But at the end of the day, it is no one’s business how your babies were conceived and no one has a right to ask a twin mum about it. Do you really want me to tell you?
Are they identical?
A lot of the time it is pretty obvious if they are identical or not. When one of them is wearing blue and the other is wearing pink – they clearly are not identical (or even the same sex.)
Aren’t you glad you got it over with in one go?
For some reason, people think that it was planned that you would have two babies at once instead of having to go through being pregnant twice and having to go through two separate births.
Just because you now have two babies does not mean that you are done and are not going to consider more down the track.
Which is your favourite?
This is a question everyone asks. Do they really think that you are going to come out and say that you have a favourite and that you like one child more than the other?
Twin mums have so much love to give and it is equally spread between their children.
I think its harder having children at different ages.
Sure, having children at different ages is difficult as they are at different stages of their lives, but it doesn’t mean that having two at the same time is any easier.
They aren’t always in the same routine, unless it is crying or wanting to be fed.
It is damn hard raising two little humans at the same age at once.
I take it you needed a c-section
Everyone is different and every birth story is different. Many twin mums naturally deliver their babies. Being pregnant with twins does not automatically mean that you need a c-section.
And even if you do, it is none of their business!
I don’t know how you do it!
We make do, we can’t turn around and say nope I can’t do this and focus on just one baby.
Once you give birth to twins, they are your world and as hard as it is, you make it work however possible.
You look exhausted!
Hello. Anyone who has given birth to ONE child is exhausted. It is something that comes with having a newborn.
Twin mums may get less sleep than a mum of a singleton or we may actually get more if we have a routine in place.
When someone points out how exhausted you look it is a bit of a kick in the guts. No one wants to be told they look like a zombie, twin mum or not. So keep those comments to yourself.
Being a new parent to twins is a fun and exciting time. There is so much that changes in your life and it is an adventure and a learning curve for everyone involved.
It is important not to let these little comments and questions get to you and that you focus on enjoying your time with your new little babies and helping them to grow and learn.
You are doing an amazing job, even if it is difficult for you to see sometimes.
And if you do get any of these comments or questions, why not have some fun with your answers and give the person asking a bit of a shock. It will at least put a smile on your face.
Read more:
Dad Couldn’t Tell His Newborn Twins Apart So Marked Them. Then Mum Found Out!
Wha’s in the Water? This Town Boasts 500 Sets of Twins, Leaving Experts Baffled
My, Have They Grown! What Octomom and Her Babies Look Like Now
Passionate about all things multiple, Naomi is the founder of Twinfo and a twin mum herself. Twinfo is an online community for multiple birth parents. It is also a directory of services and products that truly meet the needs of multiple birth families. To find out more about Twinfo, visit us at www.twinfo.com.au and join us on Facebook @Twinfo https://www.facebook.com/TwinfoAustralia
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1 Comment
“You must be busy.” Oh good, you can see that, then why did you stop me in the middle of my grocery shopping?
“Thinking of you gets me through the rough nights.” Dear mothers group friend, that’s condescending, don’t put us on a pedestal.
“You should join us at [literally any child activity that costs money].” Look, I know you mean well, but unless you’re suggesting I join my local AMBA chapter so I can attend their playgroup, I don’t want to hear it. I don’t have the money, brain capacity, or required number of limbs for gymnastics, swim lessons and toddler art class.