Dad Couldn’t Tell His Newborn Twins Apart So Marked Them. Then Mum Found Out!

When you’ve got kids, it’s essential to label things. Lunchboxes, drink bottles, jumpers, shoes, the babies. Wait, what?

Yep, one Genius Dad has labelled his twins so he remembers who is who. Fed up with getting his offspring confused, he grabbed a marker and drew on their hands. The system had been working well… until his wife found out.

Each morning Genius Dad had been drawing a dot on the left or right hand or his twins (with a safe marker of course). But when his wife discovered his clever hack, she “flipped”.

The twins’ mum insists on dressing her newborns in matchy-matchy outfits.  While it looks adorbs, the fashion statement causes problems for Genius Dad who regularly gets the names muddled. He pleaded with his wife to dress the pair differently but the answer was a flat no.

“Everything went great with the twins at first. I spent a lot of time with them but I ultimately had to go back to work after two months. I haven’t been around them as much as I would like,” Genius Dad explained.

“Here’s the issue, my wife makes them share clothes so I have zero clue which is which by their outfit. They both look almost exactly alike and I can’t figure it out.

“I asked if she would separate their clothes but she said no, she thinks it is cute.

“So I drew a little dot (with a safe marker) on one twin’s right hand and one on the other’s left hand and I made sure to have the names right. It started to work.”

When his wife found out what he was up to, Genius Dad found himself in the doghouse.

“She got really mad at me because I needed that much help figuring out our their names,” he said.

“Anytime I call one the wrong name she gets mad and ignores me for an hour. She spends all day with them every day so she knows exactly which is which. I can’t do that.”

When his wife got so mad she left the house, Genius Dad posted a question on Reddit to figure out the way forward. “I am wondering if I was an arse?” he asked.

Most thought it was his wife who being unreasonable.

“Your wife is going to have to get used to people messing up on identifying them until they get older,” one commenter wrote.

“Rather than drawing on them, maybe there is something else you can do. But if she’s not willing to help you, IMO she has no right to get upset. You don’t spend as much time with them, you’re naturally going to struggle.”

Another commenter also defended the dad’s approach: “Your wife is handling this terribly. Of course you would need help if you don’t get to spend as much time with them. That doesn’t make you a bad parent.”

However some felt Genius Dad’s techniques could use some refining.

Dude, there are better ways to do this,” one commenter advised.

“Paint their nails in a different colour, for example, the marker, safe or not, was not the right thing to do. Give them printed onesies, colourful socks, a safe bracelet or whatever. But don’t paint on your offspring. Or your wife gets mad, for all the good reasons. They’re not sheep.”

Genius Dad explained that he had tried different methods, but none were acceptable to his wife who thought he should be able to tell them apart by instinct.

“I asked about giving them bracelets (that they can’t choke on of course),” he wrote.

“She laughed at the idea. Every idea I came up with she shut down. She says I should be able to figure it out and it is driving me absolutely bananas.”

Ah we feel your pain Genius Dad. Here’s hoping it gets easier to tell them apart as they grow. Until then, maybe get them a tattoo? (With your wife’s permission of course.)

Avatar of Jillian Berry

Jillian Berry is the exhausted mother of four spirited daughters. Once a journo and editor, she now enjoys torturing her children with zucchini. When she’s not searching for her phone charger, she can be found trying to remember her password, which she only reset yesterday. She fantasizes about escaping to a remote island with her Kindle and a giant jar of Nutella. She’s also a (provisional) psychologist who’d love to make the world a better place, if only she could find the energy.

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