If you’re currently in a committed relationship with Coke Zero, you might need to brace yourself for some news.

Your beloved, sugar-free, carbonated beverage is being discontinued. Effective immediately. It truly is the end of the Coke Zero era.

While we hate to be the bearers of the unpleasant, it’s important to face up to reality at this difficult time. You may find yourself working through the 5 stages of grief:

  • Denial – Surely not, it must just be a rumour? Like the time they said Sylvester Stallone had died but he was actually just hanging out with a heavyweight boxer somewhere in Russia. Coke Zero can’t actually be GONE.
  • Anger – What do you mean, they’re discontinuing it? How is that even possible? Who makes these decisions? This is rubbish. I will boycott Coke products from here on in.
  • Bargaining – I was too hasty earlier. Maybe Coke Zero could be released as a limited edition product every few months? Or just sold in one supermarket? Or released in bulk cases on eBay so that I can stock up?
  • Depression – I’ll never drink another soft drink again.
  • Acceptance – I suppose I could try the new version. It won’t be as good but I’m a reasonable person, I can adapt.

The good news is that you’ll soon have a brand new can to pop open and gulp down. Coca-Cola No Sugar will be hitting the Australian market on June 16th. The new version is said to taste exactly like ‘proper’ coke, just without the sugar.

The branding for the new product returns to the classic, red and white label with ‘no sugar’ featuring prominently at the top after it was revealed that almost half of all consumers didn’t realise that Coke Zero was actually sugar free, hence the shift in a more clear and obvious direction.

The proof it seems, will be in the pudding as they say, or more accurately, in the drinking. Hopefully, Coke Zero fans can be converted to a new life with Coca-Cola No Sugar. Otherwise, there’s always the black market… or Pepsi Max.

Author

Naomi is 3/4 latte drinking, peanut butter obsessed former magazine girl who now does stuff with words for a living while juggling 2.5 kids, 2 cats, 1 rabbit, husband and an unhealthy obsession with slow cooking.

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