Sometimes I open my mouth and my mum slips out. I sound just like her…and it’s a bit unsettling.
I’m not the cool, hip and ‘down with the kids’ type mum I thought I would be. Nup, in stark contrast, it seems I’ve turned into my own mother over the years.
Ready to face the cold, hard truth? Here’s 10 things which might have you realising you too are turning into your mum. *INSERT EVIL LAUGH*
1. I started saying those weird mum sayings
“It’s as dark as a dog’s guts in here”, “keep it up and I’ll bang your heads together”, “the wind will change and your face will stay like that”, “were you born in a barn?” and my personal favourite – “keep your hair-shirt on” . What even IS a hair-shirt anyway mum?
2. The technology struggle is real
I recall rolling my eyes at mum who had no idea how to use the VCR to record something in the 90s. Now guess who can’t make her way around the TV remote. Yep.. awks.
3. I wear ALL the undergarments
Gone are the days of tiny underwear. Now it’s full briefs, singlets and thick opaque tights. Singlets tucked into tights. Sexy right? Such cocooning of the body is not only warm but provides a smooth silhouette. Bridget Jones has nothing on me. Oh god, I’m definitely turning into my mother!
4. The saliva face clean is my go-to
Yep. I don’t think twice about licking my finger or dabbing a handkerchief on my tongue to wipe something off a kid’s face. Normally the finger method though and most of the time only my children. Although I have been known to lick the face of someone else’s child.
5. I ask everyone before they leave the house if they need to pee
Do you need to go to the toilet before you leave? Better go free the wee, just in case… #notweirdatall
6. I can’t listen, read, shop or drive without saying
WAIT, LET ME FIND MY GLASSES.
7. I’m more than a little annoyed by today’s fashion
I’m all about fashion, but c’mon – cropped jumpers do nothing to keep you warm and if guys could start wearing socks there’d be a whole lot less foot problems clogging up the doctor’s waiting room…
8. You describe your perfect night as…
Nope, not cocktails and a club. A perfect night is now watching House Rules, snuggled under a throw rug and in bed by 10. WOAH, SLOW DOWN WILD THING.
9. Names are confusing
I spent nine months agonising over my children’s names but can’t remember who is who when all the kids are home. I just call all three names and hope someone responds.
10. I try too hard to be cool for my kids
I speak the kids’ language, fluently, fo sho. I’ll say to my teenage daughter “I totes love your jacket, sweetheart” to the unimpressed response of “mum, don’t”. Whatever, YOLO.
What do you think? Are you more like your mum than your mum is or are you still resisting?