Generally, I’m a nice person but there’s one week of the month where I turn into an angry and emotional beast. Look at me the wrong way; go on, I dare you!
So is it PMS or am I just a mad, borderline in-need-of-committal kind of cranky person?
Turns out misery loves company, it’s estimated three out of four women suffer some sort of PMS symptoms, according to Mayo Clinic.
What is PMS?
Simply put, premenstrual syndrome (PMS) describes the many weird (and not so wonderful) symptoms that plague our mind and body around the time of our period. It usually starts sometime in the week before you expect your period and carries on through until you’ve finished your period for the month. Fun times.
PMS is also known as premenstrual tension (PMT). The names are interchangeable, they mean the same thing – a whole whack of tension!
Signs and Symptoms of PMS
Oh trust me, you’ll know if you’re suffering PMS symptoms. But just in case it’s new to you, here are some common signs to look out for:
1. All The Food. Like, ALL OF IT.
You’ll be hungry. Hungrier than usual. You might find yourself mowing down everything from weird, half-dried twiggy sticks you found in the back of the fridge to handfuls of frozen peas and pumping half a loaf of bread through the toaster on any given day. It’s at THIS point of your cycle you question is it PMS or are these pregnancy cravings? Which in turn makes you crazy with anxiety followed by an epic, teary, don’t-poke-the-bear meltdown.
2. No One Touch My Boobs
I mean it. Not the kids, not the partner, not the dog – no one. Don’t even look at them. It’s normal for breasts to become tender due to hormone changes – along with a little swelling or breast tissue hardening. From the outside, this PMS symptom of beautiful, full tatas is awesome. But when they’re YOUR boobs, not so much. Oucherama.
3. I’m Not a Rational person
There’s no winning when it comes to my PMS brain, or worse, my PMS mouth. Mood swings are RIFE, I’m more irritable than I don’t know what and I’m not afraid to voice any of it. I’m easily peeved by anything and I’ll let you know. It’s like a little Dutch courage has entered my system without the fun of drinking any of it – the same kind of consequences though. To my family: I’m sorry for what I said when I was hormonal, I don’t really find you all annoying AF.
4. More Tears Than Tissues
There might be waterworks thanks to the shift in hormones. The Bachelor can’t give out any roses? CRYING. Ran out of garam masala while making curry? CRYING. Your kid told you he loved you out of the blue? OMG THE FLOODGATES ARE OPEN.
5. More Bloated Than A Puffer Fish
Adding further to the anxiety, the belly bloat sets in and you might stack on a bit of weight, thanks to fluid retention. Do yourself a favour and stick to comfy elastic-waist pants. This is not a time for your skinniest of skinny jeans, it’ll only end in tears (see point 4). Thankfully other people don’t tend to notice it, it’s just you feeling heavy and blah.
6. Aches, Pains and Endless Toilet Trips
It’s not age, it’s your period and it sucks. Sore back, sore tummy (not discounting the biscuit aisle feast you devoured earlier), headaches, fatigue and what the bejeezus is with the endless toilet trips? It’s perfectly normal for PMS victims to experience constipation one day and diarrhoea the next. Ugh, the WORST.
What To Do When Gripped By PMS?
While there’s no real get out of PMS jail for free card, you can certainly help alleviate some of the physical and mental symptoms. Use simple things like rest and pain relief to get through the day if feeling particularly rough.
There are supplements on the market that might help to boost your mood. Also a t-shirt with a ‘DON’T TALK TO ME’ slogan might help everyone involved – yourself AND your family that’s tiptoeing around you. If all else fails, just put yourself in time out, hit the Netflix button and wait it out.
There’s no better time to indulge in some rest and relaxation than when you’re fed up and feeling all sorts of crap. If you can’t decide how to invest your time, here’s five ways to find your “Me Time”!
What to Read Next
