“Why would anyone want to be my friend?”
Eight words muttered by my 11-year-old the other day. Eight words that broke my heart.
“Mate, why wouldn’t they? You’re funny, hilarious in fact. You’re clever, you’re talented and you’re fun to be around.”
But to my son, he is none of that. He, like so many kids out there, has a hard time seeing their true worth.
Sadly this is a totally common trait for our older kids these days.
Youth coach, Marina Passalaris, founder of Beautiful Minds is familiar with this negative mindset. She sees it in kids and teens all the time.
This is especially true since the pandemic hit and virtual learning has taken over. In a recent survey conducted by the Post–it® Brand by 3M over the three months in lockdown*, it was discovered that 69% of students found it hard to stay motivated and energised while learning from home, impacting self-esteem and more.
Of course, our teens’ negativity stems from an abundance of things … hormones are a big one but also social media, the pressures to perform, concerns about the future … the list goes on.
This is one of the reasons why Marina developed her Love Bomb Wall – a clever way to help her kids overcome these fears and negative mindsets plus promote body positivity in children. And the hero of the Love Bomb Wall? The humble Post-it® Note!
Now we all know the Post-it® Note right? I mean, aside from the not-quite-so-true fact that Romy and Michelle invented them.
If you’re like me, you’ve probably got a heap of these extra Post-it Notes® scattered somewhere in the house too. They come in various colours, sizes and shapes, and are great for pretty much ALL the things. Perfect for checklists and reminders across home, school or work … everywhere, really!
I used them when my kids were little to teach them sight words when they were younger. I would write a sight word (that, the, he, she, you know the ones) on each Post-it® Note and plaster them around the house. Anytime they opened the fridge, dumped out a bin of LEGO or went to the toilet, oh, look, a sight word!
There are countless ways to inspire creativity with Post-it® Notes but we were particularly moved by Marina’s idea. And I reckon it’s something we should all incorporate at home!
Meet the Love Bomb Wall
What is a love bomb wall, we hear you ask? Essentially, it’s a wall made up of Post-it® Notes and mirrors.
The purpose? To remind each and every one of them just how special, talented, beautiful and powerful they are.
Every student is required to write down how they feel themselves and post it on the wall. Marina uses this tactic in her seminars where she works with kids ages 7-17. AKA: the tricky tween and teen years!
These are then discussed to help them process their feelings by sharing their thoughts and opinions about how they look and how they feel about themselves.
It helps our students understand some of the shame that lives inside many human beings. They understand and process their thoughts around their opinion about how they look,” Marina explains.
Make your own love bomb wall
Of course, you don’t have to limit this to how children view themselves. We love the idea of making a love bomb wall at home with things we are grateful for or daily affirmations.
Give it a try for a week with your family – simply leave a stack of Post-it® Notes (more colours the better) in the bathroom and remind everyone in your household to write down a small note each morning. After a week, you’ll have dozens of daily affirmations to look back on and the kids will have something nice to start their day with.
What can you get them to write?
Anything really! Here are a few suggestions.
- Something they want to achieve for the day
- Something they are grateful for – helping children feel grateful is such a powerful way to instill a growth mindset
- A quote they like or even a lyric from a song that speaks to them
- Something they are looking forward to about the day
- Something they love about themselves
- Something they are nervous or anxious about
- A compliment to another family member
You can do this on any surface too. The back of the toilet door works well because everyone HAS to see it and read it when doing their business. And it’s also a time for pondering and reflection among our often busy lives.
Positive Post-its
Redlands Junior School teacher Alix Smith has also used the power of the humble Post-it® Note to encourage positivity and connection between her students. She’s created a session called Positive Post-its.
On a Friday afternoon, her students write down positive thoughts and feelings for a peer. These notes are exchanged and kept so students to go back and reread if they are feeling down. It’s a way of creating a safe and supportive environment, and, again, something you can easily encourage at home with your own kids.
Throughout the week students write each other kind notes and words of gratitude and post in the box. They can write their name on it or stay anonymous. It might be something as simple as “thank you for helping me with my spelling” or “I loved the way you welcomed me to the class”.
On a Friday afternoon we hand out the Post-it® Notes. They all go home with at least one (usually more than 10!) notes of positivity written by a peer. I encourage students to keep them somewhere safe at home so if they are feeling down, they can go back and read them”. – Alix Smith, Redlands Junior School Teacher
The Kid Jar
All kids need to know they are loved, appreciated and amazing. It breaks my heart when my children go through a down moment when they think otherwise.
This is why I’ve also started my own Kid Jar.
This is basically a jar I keep on my desk. I leave a stack of Post-it® Notes beside it and anytime my kids do something funny, kind, clever or sweet, I write it down on a Post-it® Note note and add it into the Kid Jar on my desk.
Of course, I don’t always remember to write down every clever or funny story. But when I do, into the Kid Jar it goes. When the jar is full, we open it up and read each note.
The first time I filled the jar and let the kids read it was one of the sweetest moments in my parenting world.
- To watch them laugh as they remembered the stories I wrote down.
- To see their eyes light up when they discover that I did notice that random act of kindness.
- Let them take a step back from the big picture and pause and reflect – to see the little things that make them who they are.
- To realise that they are loved, valued and appreciated.
Through these Post-it® Notes, they are reminded just how amazing they are. And we parents have a reminder of the things that make them shine, that make them so special, that makes them so amazing, for years and years to come.
It’s something that I’ll continue to do as my kids grow. I’ll be THAT 80 year old great-great-nanna with 1,200 random jars of Post-it® notes on display. Some people collect cats. I’ll collect Jars of Moments. And I’ll cherish them forever.
#LifeGoals
The Power of the Post-it®
We all have days when we feel underappreciated, undervalued, overworked, overwhelmed and so do our kids. Our goal as a parent isn’t to shield them from these feelings but to teach them how to handle these feelings with positivity and resilience.
If you don’t already have a stack of Post-it® Notes, grab some the next time you’re out and about and make your very own Love Bomb Wall or Kid Jar. It’s a great way to get kids to pause, reflect and see just how special they are.
Post-it® Notes come in heaps of shapes, colours and sizes too – notepads, the square notes, flags and tabs, even extreme notes for heavy-duty surfaces (great for tradies!) – Check out the whole range at Officeworks and most large retailers.
It may not seem like much, but these little messages can make a big difference to our children’s positivity and self-worth, especially on those extra-tough days.
This is a sponsored post for Post-it® Brand by 3M.
* The Omnipoll statistics were commissioned by Post–it® Brand over the 3 months in lockdown in 2021
