Ah, retro Christmas. A lovely time when satin baubles reigned supreme, the pearls were reserved for the tree and we thought crappy paper chains looks chic.
And let’s not forget Grandma chain-smoking at the dinner table as you argued with your siblings over who got to put the multi-coloured foil star on top of the tree.
Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?
We’ve dug deep in our grandparents’ attics to uncover those vintage Christmas decorations that most likely still take up space in your memories. Most likely hidden in the back of your brain, collecting dust and ready to transport you to a time when ugly sweaters were considered the norm and foiled fire hazards were all part of the festive fun.
Bring out the vintage Christmas decorations!
1. Bulky AF lights
We’re talking light bulb sizes here ladies. And LED? Not a chance! Remember having to fiddle with each one when one of the lights would go out? Good times, good times.
Oh, and stepping on the damned things while trying to get them all to light up at the same time.
2. These exact foiled baubles
If 70s Christmases had a mascot, these foiled balls would certainly be it.
3. Multicolored tree lights
Sure, now it’s all silver and gold hues but back in the day, you couldn’t even call your tree a Christmas tree if it didn’t contain a string of these rainbow lights.
4. Slinky tinsel
Tinsel that slinks to the floor? Of course! I think slinky tinsel is meant to resemble icicles. They look almost as icy as the woman giving us the stink eye above. Festive frock and resting bitch face on pointe.
5. Satin Baubles
I think my grandma just rolled over in her grave.
6. Glass Baubles
Nothing said, “Merry Christmas” like stepping on a piece of one of these after the cat knocked it off the tree and it shattered into a million pieces. Tetanus for Christmas anyone?
7. Pearls for trees
Slinky tinsel wasn’t the only crowned jewel of the Christmas tree. Let’s not forget about that time in our lives when we used to adorn our trees with strings of crappy pearls.
Oh, and, of course, the strings of popcorn need an honourable mention too. #ChristmasTreeCouture.
8. Oh, Silver tree
Yes, silver trees still exist today but remember when we didn’t know what tree fluffing was? That was fun. And that woman posing so happily with her two trees?? She’s the Christmas gift that keeps on giving.
9. Paper chains
Paper Chains: Uglying up our homes since 1967.
10. Hanging foil garlands
Seriously, what was with all the foil??
11. Star lights
And not just ANY star lights, oh no. They had to be multi-coloured!
12. Homemade decorations
I reckon every single household had the same DIY Decorations book back then.
13. An OTT unmatching tree collar skirt
The tackier the better! And one that also contained anything bedazzled… be still my 80s Christmas heart…
14. And let’s not forget the foiled star!
This one especially wins Christmas because it’s multicoloured, lights up AND features an unimpressed Santa in the middle. 80s goals, people. 80s goals.
Well, that about wraps up our walk down memory lane with our retro Christmas decorations… but there’s plenty more Christmas fun to be had. Check out: