Helicopter mum. Tiger mum. Unicorn mum. Lawn mower mum. All interesting parenting styles with even more interesting names.
But there’s another type of mum that’s never mentioned – probably because I just made her up. Nonetheless, she deserves ALL the attention in the world because she is effing awesome.
Who is she?
The mule mum (*patent pending*). Sure, it’s not the most glamorous animal to be named after, but, trust me, she’s the best. And, chances are, she’s you. To the tee.
What is a mule mum, you ask?
Well, essentially, she’s the donkey of the household. The mule mum is strong, patient and bred to serve her mini masters (aka her devil spawns). Or so they seem to think at least.
The mule mum is known for her ability to carry ALL HER KIDS’ SHIT that they simply cannot carry themselves. Like backpacks, and hats, and socks, and oversized hair bows. And 15 Beanie Boos that MUST come on the journey with them. Oh, and of course, food wrappers they are too lazy to throw in the bin.
The typical mum would probably lose her cool. Possibly leave her kids on the side of the road with their food wrappers. And Beanie Boos.
But, no, not the mule mum. Why? Because mule mums are more patient than your average mum. They have to be to put up with the constant crap their little assholes serve them…
Mums of little asses unite
So where do you find these fine specimens? Mule mums tend to congregate in areas populated by children. In the toy section of shops. At the playground. In the school pick up line-up.
What are they doing? They are calmly waiting. Waiting for their mini masters, who are dragging their feet, trailing behind or taking their sweet ass time putting on their bloody shoes.
Not a pretty sight
Mule mums really don’t get a lot of time to themselves. After all, being the literal donkey of the family takes a lot of time. And mule mums often miss out on pampering and priming.
Their hair tends to be swiney, in desperate need of a trim and a dye. Their mascara is probably five years old. And probably bought on special at the chemist for $6.
Even when a mule mum attempts to pee in peace, their tiny donkeys are there, right next to them, questioning what they are doing and asking for a snack.
All hail the mule mum. And bring her a wine while you’re at it
But this is what makes the mule mum so awesome in our books – they keep going and going and going. Like the Energiser Bunny. But with huge bags under their eyes. And probably fuelled by a heavy dose of caffeine.
So why do mule mums push through the exhaustion and do what they do? Simply put, because they love their kids so freakin’ much.
They will literally walk across a desert (or through a crowded school parking lot) just to ensure they have a good seat to watch their daughter receive an award. They will wander through paddock after paddock (okay, Kmart after Kmart) for hours, searching for the sold-out toy their son has asked Santa for.
Mule mums trot across town at 3am to pick their child up from a sleepover because he got homesick. They bake cookies and sew shitty book week costumes and cut fruit into weird looking characters, simply because they know it makes their kids smile.
See, that’s the thing about us mule mums. We may not be the most precious creatures on the planet. But we are freakin’ good mums. And, to our little assholes – who probably don’t say it enough, if ever – we are absolutely invaluable.
Hairy legs and all.
So, are you a mule mum? Have a read of our previous post on unicorn mums, who are also awesome, to see which style best suits you.