You’ve probably heard about the various ‘parenting styles’ out there.
There’s the helicopter mum, hovering over her kids at the playground, the tiger mum, roaring at her children to achieve greatness, the gentle mum, letting her kids guide and discipline themselves.
But have you heard of the unicorn mum? No? Let us introduce you to her.
And let us celebrate all unicorn mums, who are paving the way for parenting greatness, one head-butting horn at a time.
So, what’s so great about the unicorn mum?
It’s simple, really.
Unicorn mums don’t give a sh*t.
Well, actually, that’s not true. Unicorn mums do give certain shits. They care about their kids, their families, their personal lives. They just don’t care for the politics that comes with parenting their kids, taking care of their families and living their personal lives.
Unicorn mums are funny, up front and honest. They like to have fun and relax, preferably with a cold beverage. They do what they have to do to keep their kids alive. But they also do what they have to do to keep their sanity.
No, I didn’t just make this parenting style up to make myself feel better – it’s actually a thing. Sure, it doesn’t come with countless studies or expert opinions from psychologists or behavioural analysts. But, whatev, it’s in the Urban Dictionary. So it counts.
According to Urban Dictionary, a unicorn mum is
“A mother who’s not perfect, enjoys alcohol, has a sense of humour and couldn’t care less what you think.”
So why celebrate the unicorn mum? Shouldn’t we be putting a label on her, judging her for not caring enough or drinking too much and shaming her on social media instead?
Not the unicorn mum. You see, unicorn mums rise above this. Why? Because they are mythical horses with horns and they can run you through if you don’t behave. See, we told you being a unicorn mum is awesome.
Mythical, multi-coloured and armed with a horn
Unicorn mums are beacons of hope for their families, pooping out glitter and sunshine and all that jazz. But only sometimes, usually on the weekends, after a wine, when the kids are actually behaving and no one is fighting over who gets control of the TV remote.
Other times unicorn mums are grumpy bitches, not afraid to head butt you with their horn if you happen to piss them off. After all, unicorn mums are fierce AF. Plus they have a giant weapon on their forehead.
And let’s not forget about the whole rainbow hair thing. It’s this multi-coloured mane that showcases the unicorn mum’s true crazy colours and multifaceted personality. Sure, it’s usually kept in a messy mum bun, and the multi-colours may come from not-so-blonde regrowth, but it’s still there. And it allows a unicorn mum to change from domestic goddess to wife, from friend to parent, from employee to mummy, in the blink of an eye.
But perhaps what makes the unicorn mum so wonderful is the magic. She gives the tooth fairy wings. She banishes the monsters from under the bed. Plus, she manages to squish her post-baby butt down the nonexistent chimney once a year and deliver a roomful of presents.
She can turn a shoe box into a diorama, transform a sandwich into a cartoon character and melt away all life’s problems with a simple cuddle.
So, to all the unicorn mums out there, who have probably wanted to head butt their children with their horns at least twice today, raise your glass high and be proud of your parenting. You’re bringing magic into your children’s lives each and every day, simply by being you.
If that isn’t something worth celebrating, then we don’t know what is.
Looking for more unicorn-inspired articles? Check out I think my daughter’s Christmas present is stalking me.