Humour

Sorry Helicopter Parents, You’re Out. This Year, It’s All About the Unicorn Mums

You’ve probably heard about the various ‘parenting styles’ out there.

There’s the helicopter mum, hovering over her kids at the playground, the tiger mum, roaring at her children to achieve greatness, the gentle mum, letting her kids guide and discipline themselves.

But have you heard of the unicorn mum? No? Let us introduce you to her.

And let us celebrate all unicorn mums, who are paving the way for parenting greatness, one head-butting horn at a time.

So, what’s so great about the unicorn mum?

It’s simple, really.

mum central

Unicorn mums don’t give a sh*t.

Well, actually, that’s not true. Unicorn mums do give certain shits. They care about their kids, their families, their personal lives. They just don’t care for the politics that comes with parenting their kids, taking care of their families and living their personal lives.

Unicorn mums are funny, up front and honest. They like to have fun and relax, preferably with a cold beverage. They do what they have to do to keep their kids alive. But they also do what they have to do to keep their sanity.

No, I didn’t just make this parenting style up to make myself feel better – it’s actually a thing. Sure, it doesn’t come with countless studies or expert opinions from psychologists or behavioural analysts. But, whatev, it’s in the Urban Dictionary. So it counts.

According to Urban Dictionary, a unicorn mum is

“A mother who’s not perfect, enjoys alcohol, has a sense of humour and couldn’t care less what you think.”

So why celebrate the unicorn mum? Shouldn’t we be putting a label on her, judging her for not caring enough or drinking too much and shaming her on social media instead?

Not the unicorn mum. You see, unicorn mums rise above this. Why? Because they are mythical horses with horns and they can run you through if you don’t behave. See, we told you being a unicorn mum is awesome.

Mythical, multi-coloured and armed with a horn

Unicorn mums are beacons of hope for their families, pooping out glitter and sunshine and all that jazz. But only sometimes, usually on the weekends, after a wine, when the kids are actually behaving and no one is fighting over who gets control of the TV remote.

Other times unicorn mums are grumpy bitches, not afraid to head butt you with their horn if you happen to piss them off. After all, unicorn mums are fierce AF. Plus they have a giant weapon on their forehead.

And let’s not forget about the whole rainbow hair thing. It’s this multi-coloured mane that showcases the unicorn mum’s true crazy colours and multifaceted personality. Sure, it’s usually kept in a messy mum bun, and the multi-colours may come from not-so-blonde regrowth, but it’s still there. And it allows a unicorn mum to change from domestic goddess to wife, from friend to parent, from employee to mummy, in the blink of an eye.

But perhaps what makes the unicorn mum so wonderful is the magic. She gives the tooth fairy wings. She banishes the monsters from under the bed. Plus, she manages to squish her post-baby butt down the nonexistent chimney once a year and deliver a roomful of presents.

She can turn a shoe box into a diorama, transform a sandwich into a cartoon character and melt away all life’s problems with a simple cuddle.

So, to all the unicorn mums out there, who have probably wanted to head butt their children with their horns at least twice today, raise your glass high and be proud of your parenting. You’re bringing magic into your children’s lives each and every day, simply by being you.

If that isn’t something worth celebrating, then we don’t know what is.

Looking for more unicorn-inspired articles? Check out I think my daughter’s Christmas present is stalking me. 

Avatar of Jenna Galley

Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe. When the mum-of-three is not writing, you can find her floating in the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach, bouncing her baby to sleep or nagging her older kids to put on their pants.

19 Comments

    • Avatar of Riva

      Deyvonne I was just about to post the same thing! Unicorn Mom and that description are Maria Hunts and our groups! Although she is right about us UM being badass

  1. Avatar of Brender

    Yippy !
    I” m 44 yrs old mom but I am a unicorn too❣
    I’ve been battling terminal b_ea_t cancer 10 years now!
    I really needed something in my life to find my on going strength and courage.

    Then it happened I I incorporated something from childhood.
    And wonders never cease…
    I even changed my 2002 white sunfire into a uni-car❣

  2. Avatar of Rebecca

    As a mom of a child with special needs, the “ unicorn mom” causes me a lot of stress. After reading your description of unicorn mom it sounds to me like an entitled mom. Doesn’t give a crap about anything or what anyone thinks and so your kids are the same and bulldoze over children who are genuinely friendly and kind. Sometimes it’s important to teach children to be strong but not at the expense of others. I’ve seen this too often. Entitlement is the problem with people nowadays. Strength is celebrated but genuine kindness isn’t. I’ve seen the “unicorn mom” and the product of the unicorn mom “unicorn children” and all I see is entitlement and attitude of do what’s best for me and my family, to heck with anyone else and their feelings or problems. So if you happen to have a day of “ being a grumpy bitch” the rest of us will get the short end of the stick. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty days when I am fiercely grumpy And have a LOT going on in my life and my child’s, howeverI am thoughtful and have in mind that others are having their own invisible struggles. That’s called empathy. The Next time you feel “pissed off” and feel the need to “head butt” another mom, remember that you hurt others in the process and that is bullying. Teach your child that.

    • Avatar of 5Frisbys

      Bravo! I totally agree, Rebecca. I am also a mother of three children with special needs who believes in teaching her kids to be kind & have empathy. Our neuro-diverse children deserve a life of inclusivity & it would be difficult if everyone only cared about their own. I support diversity & learning from all styles.

    • Avatar of Veronica

      Wait! What?

      No, UM are not entitled brats, they’re just not into giving AF about the societal pressures to be a perfect mom. My daughters and son, are fierce defenders of those who are weaker, and yet, they find it within themselves to exercise restrain when it comes to other obnoxious children. My son was punched in the face by a special needs kid because he had trouble controlling his outbursts. My son, did not punch him back, although that is the rule, punched first, punch back. All three of my children are kind and gentle, until someone is not kind and gentle to them, and I’ll step in, if I must.
      You make it sound like it’s a bad thing to be concerned with doing whats best for one’s family. I mean, I can’t be worried about providing and taking care of mine, and worry about yours. That’s your job. If you don’t like the way I parent, well what I can I say? I don’t care, and I’ll tell you something else too, I’ve seen what some special needs kids do in the classroom, and sister, they’re not innocent. You’re not going to have your child walk up to mine, and push her down, because he’s having an issue with personal boundaries. Then, because he’s special needs, she can’t defend herself? GTFO with that, and if that’s the mentality that bothers you, so be it.
      So, that door swings both ways, but I’m not going to judge the way your raise your children, until it becomes my problem, but don’t paint that picture with broad brush strokes. My children, and I are kind, and we do care about others, I’m just not willing to sacrifice for mine, just so you can feel good about yours, and it has nothing to do with diversity either.

      • Avatar of Rebecca

        Veronica. You missed the entire point. Re read. My child is gentle. Not the one you described that punched your child.. I think it goes without saying that you would step in if anyone assaulted your child! No kidding. The author clearly wrote that she can be a “grumpy bitch“ so watch out if you get in her way. In what world is that acceptable behaviour and something you want to teach your kids? That there is my problem. And that there is pure entitlement. I don’t think we need to argue over protecting our kids. That’s pretty obvious. Lastly I’m done with labeling. Just be you and be kind. Enough said. Labels only serve to polarize which seems to be exactly what the unicorn mom is all about according to this specific author.

    • Avatar of Anya

      Don’t fret over it too much. This is actually a description of another mythical being. Like unicorns, there are no such beings as Unicorn Moms. It’s like some one is taking the mickey out with this definition of make a believe character and everyone is missing the joke. And some are claiming the identity as their own. Hey, if it makes them happy….

    • Avatar of Jess

      I am a unicorn mom and I have unicorn kids and I will tell you why. Both of my children have special needs and we face a great deal of adversity everyday of our lives (I choose not to focus or elaborate further upon that because it’s exhausting and putting all of our energy into that won’t change the situation or unique circumstances we face, it just creates feelings of inadequacy, sadness and disappointment – not me in them, they’re the greatest part of myself… I don’t think I ever knew true unending love until they came into my life). Unicorns are magical, fierce, beautiful, fun and exciting. I teach my children to embrace their strengths and weaknesses but know all the while they aren’t less than, they’re magical and amazing! I’m far from a perfect human being, and everyday I try to be the best person I can but I will falter as will others and that’s ok. Unicorns are beautiful, fun and they provide something exciting to connect ourselves to. I think your response to be a misinterpretation of the article/ concept being presented here. Every day we are all given a choice to turn our adversities into sadness, anger or shame or to rise above that and focus on the fun, exciting and magical opportunity that each day we are given provides. I’m a proud unicorn and I’m not afraid to use my horn to protect my children, nobody has ever met me and been able to say “she doesn’t love her children or make them her main priority in life”. I would be nothing without them and I will love them just as they are and raise them to be proud, loving, strong individuals that do not allow others to let them move view themselves as less than! The unicorn moms you have described just sound like a-holes that don’t give a crap about anyone or anything. That is not beautiful, magical or fierce. Perhaps you should read the article again without this unfortunate bias in your opinion of what the uni-mom is. Best of wishes in your life and your children’s lives.

    • Avatar of Heather Bell
      Heather Bell Reply

      I’m sorry you feel that way. It’s not what a unicorn mom is at all. I am one. My children are kind loving generous children who have multiple times defended kids who are being bullied. However, we don’t live by the rules everyone thinks we should live by. We instill our own values, morals and beliefs by allowing our children to do the same. We allow them to have an identity instead of hovering and stopping them from being individuals. My children aren’t entitled but their individuality is celebrated as is the rest of the worlds individuality.

  3. Avatar of Yvon

    Why don’t we celebrate all moms? Helicopter, gentle, tiger, ect. And why is enjoying alcohol a prerequisite? There’s a lot of sober moms who are equally badass,

  4. Avatar of Corrie

    I prefer Pegasus Mama. I won’t try to own the definition (wtf is that anyways, ownership, patriarchal BS), create a group, or care that other Pegasus Mammas exist. I’m me and truly don’t care what anyone thinks.

  5. Avatar of Erika

    So like…a unicorn mom is like every mom from like 1990 and before? Lol

  6. Avatar of Elle

    It’s how we Mom’s parented for decades and decades before you….hell, YOUR Mom was probably one. We wondered when you al, would real7ze the helicopter and tiger style was bullshit. Welcome to the club!

  7. Avatar of Nae

    I hope the author knows in many other groups and social circles,, being a unicorn has a completely different meaning…

  8. Avatar of Jezebel

    UM have always existed. People just paid too much attention to blogger moms and Camparing themselves to social media moms while UM 10-20 years ago existed and didn’t give a shit then Either. The difference is, it’s trendy to not give a shit now whereas 10-20 years ago it wasn’t trendy so there was no catchy name for it. Wine drinking carefree anti social media comparison moms have always existed. Today you just want a name for it because more of you finally caught up to what many of us were already doing. Colored hair included.

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