Day Drinks and Naps: What a Mum's Christmas Wish List Looks Like

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring… except for me, of course, who clearly can’t get her Christmas shit together before the big day tomorrow.

Stockings hung. Check. Kids nestled in bed. Check. Me pacing the house trying to remember where I hid the chocolates, cursing at the bloody wrapping paper (WHY DO YOU ALWAYS F*CKING RIP?) and chugging white wine that I was saving for tomorrow’s family lunch? Check.

Yep, mum’s disorganisation almost ruins Christmas again…

Almost.

Because, even though right now I’m a hot merry mess, tomorrow morning will be perfect. The kids will wake up to Santa’s cookies eaten, minus a few crumbs, to Santa prints exiting the house, to reindeer shaped pancakes and to an assortment of gifts to rip open.

I’ve even used different wrapping paper for each child to help them decipher which present is for who and hopefully eliminate any fighting. AND I’ve made sure the kids all have the exact same number of gifts (close to the same size too) because, if it’s not even, well, Christmas will be ruined forever.

And what do I ask for in return for this perfection? What’s on my Christmas wish list? Nothing much. All I ask for is a good day tomorrow…. a good day that includes these 12 simple things.

All I want for Christmas is… A mum’s Christmas wish list

1. Another bottle of white wine

To replace the one I ‘accidentally’ drank tonight.

2. Pleases and thank yous

Okay, so technically Santa is responsible for all the magic in our house, but I would still like to be appreciated for organising Santa’s awesome efforts.

3. Five minutes to myself

Just to soak in all the Christmas goodness, possibly put on a bit of makeup before the craziness begins.

4. No fighting from the kids

Like none. Not even one little dig at each other. No pushing, no shoving, no name-calling, no ‘but he touched me’. Not having any of it.

5. To send that stupid Elf back to the North Pole

Or into the closet for 11 months of blissful not-Elfy antics.

mum central — Back into your box, you go. Photo: Supplied

6. An after-lunch nap

Another thing on my Christmas wish list? One of those turkey-stuffed, beer-full daytime sleeps that my dad gets while I usually tidy up and help the kids assemble their toys. This year, I want that.

7. To not have to pick up a single itty bitty piece of wrapping paper

Wrapping paper mess, be gone!

8. Also, not to blow up a pool inflatable

I’m still scarred from my run-in with the Giant Unicorn of 2017 – the world’s largest inflatable pool toy that my daughter got for Christmas two years ago and insisted on bringing EVERYWHERE with her. *Shudder*

Anyhow, the kids are getting pool floaties again this year, BUT they are of average size, are NOT shaped like a mythical beast and I bought a pump for the occasion.

9. A bucket load of batteries of all shapes and sizes

Because there’s bound to be at least one battery-operated gadget or toy under the tree.

10. One Christmas picture where no one is screaming

Fail. Maybe next year.

11. Day drinks

Lots and lots of day drinks. And no hangover the next day.

12. And, finally, to remember to sit back, relax and enjoy it all

In between the pancake-making and the gift-opening, the car trips to the in-laws and the rush home to ensure the baby gets her nap, it’s easy to feel like you’re running around, unable to actually soak in the Christmas spirit.

This year my gift to myself is to stop. Stop trying to manage it all and just be present. Watch the kids rip open their gifts (the pancake reindeer can wait), join in on the backyard slip ‘n’ slide (dishes don’t need to do done RIGHT away) and savour those Christmas snuggles with the kids, even if the baby does miss her afternoon sleep.

So, to all the mums who are wrapping last-minute gifts, eating Santa’s cookies and Ruldoph’s carrots, I see you. I’m there too, slightly tipsy, but mostly excited to watch the magic unfold tomorrow. We mums are the ones who bring this magic to Christmas.

So, this year, let’s fulfil our Christmas wish list and all give ourselves an awesome Christmas by ensuring we let the chaos (and the champers) flow freely and enjoy it all.

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Merry Christmas mums, from all the team at Mum Central. Eat, drink, be merry and raise your glass to your awesome Christmas efforts this year. We did good. And only 365 more days till we get to do it all over again…