Warning: This post is not suitable for little readers. Grown-ups only! After all, mums and dads are the only ones who are allowed to know Santa’s little secrets.
Some parents are experts when it comes to bringing the spirit of Christmas into their living rooms every year.
Me, not so much. Despite my best attempts, our family Christmas is far from Pinterest-worthy. My gingerbread man cookies look more like burnt penises; my lopsided tree looks like it’s had one too many bourbons; and my attempt to wrap Christmas presents always ends with me cursing the tape, opening a bottle of wine and throwing blankets over the big ticket items instead of actually wrapping them.
Oh, and don’t even get me started on Elf on the Shelf…
But, hey, even if you, like me, haven’t quite mastered the Martha Stewart Christmas, you can still pull off a magical evening and morning leading up the main event. We’ve tracked down 11 seriously simple ideas, none of which require you to bake, glue stuff together or spend more than a few dollars.
Honestly, if I can manage to pull off these ideas, then ANYONE can, even after a bottle of wine.
1. Add Santa to your contact list
Santa’s got an iPhone. And he’s not afraid to use it! Request a phone call or SMS from Santa with this cute app. Santa will contact you (and the kids) on request, allowing them to see that he really does exist. After all, if he has an iPhone, clearly he’s real.
2. Track Santa
While we’re on the technology sleigh, check out where Santa is in the world and when he’s planning on stopping at your house. You can do all of this and more (AND in 3D) with NORAD, the official Santa-tracking website. It even includes a countdown clock to when Santa’s sleigh officially starts on its present delivering journey. And just between us, it’t the best way to get the kids into bed on Christmas Eve.
3. Switch your wrapping paper
Your kids may catch on to something if they notice that Santa’s wrapping paper happens to be the exact same as the wrapping paper you used to wrap grandma’s gift. So splurge on some ‘special wrapping paper’ just from Santa (and be sure to keep it hidden!).
Oh, and if you’re leaving personalised tags from Santa, be sure to also switch your handwriting up.
4. Make a Christmas Eve box
A box of goodies to unwrap the night before Christmas? What kid wouldn’t love a Christmas Eve box? What do you put in this special box? New PJ’s, pint-sized popcorn, a Christmas DVD, and a special Christmas book to read before bed. Have a look at our post on Christmas Eve Boxes for heaps more ideas.
5. Stir up some sweet Santa hot chocolate
Add a bit of red food colouring to your hot chocolate mix, add some whip cream to the edges and you’ve got Santa hot chocolate. You can put on your extra fancy pants and even sprinkle crushed up candy cane on top.
6. Spread Santa dust
While you’re making stuff, you might as well also bash out a bottle of Santa dust. Add sugar (or salt), birdseed and a dash of glitter to an empty spice jar.
Give it to the kids to sprinkle at the front entrance of the house on Christmas Eve. That way Santa will know where to stop.
7. Make your own Santa video
Portable North Pole is an enchanted portal that brings Santa Claus into every home around the world. You can make a free basic video message from Santa – just watch their eyes light up when Santa calls them by name and finds their photo in his magic book – or pay a little extra to get all the Christmas bells and whistles.
8. Leave a key
It’s one of the most common questions children have around Christmastime – how does Santa get in if we don’t have a chimney?
Give him a key. Oh, and a cute personalised message. Problem solved.
9. Make reindeer food
You probably are already all over the ‘leaving a biscuit out for Santa’ thing (and taking a bite out of it). But what about the reindeer? Reindeer like carrots. But they especially like magical reindeer food.
All you need to pull off this Christmas concoction – oats, sprinkles and sugar. Put the reindeer food out with Santa’s milk and bikkies.
Make sure to bite the carrot before you hit the hay for the kids to find in the morning… reindeer are messy eaters, after all. And the birds will take care of the oats before the kids wake, leaving just the magic dust to show where Santa has been.
10. Jingle a bell
As the kids are tucked into bed and almost asleep, jingle a bell outside their window, letting them know Santa is on his way.
11. Add Santa footprints
After the kids have gone to bed, it’s time to get busy! Place the presents under the tree, add little treats to the stocking, eat the biscuit (which is most likely burnt and penis-shaped, if it’s anything like my household), spill the reindeer food, trip over the tree, swear out loud, check to make sure you haven’t woken the kids…
And the final touch?
Make Santa footprints out of paper, baking soda, flour, or anything else white that you won’t mind cleaning up later on. Santa has officially come, gone, and left his snowy footprints behind.
So, there you have it – how to absolutely nail a magical Christmas in 11 simple steps. Now, go and enjoy one of those penis-shaped gingerbread cookies and a glass of wine. You deserve it.