To All Mums with Daughters, These ‘Don’ts’ Will Help us Raise Confident Young Women

There’s a lot of ‘don’ts’ in life. But this eloquent don’t list isn’t what you would expect. It has nothing to do with the ‘rules’ of being a good mum or raising a happy child.

It is so much better than that.

These are the don’ts that are responsible for helping us mums raise confident, strong-willed daughters that aren’t afraid to stand up and be themselves.

Writer and mother Toni Hammer shared these ‘don’ts’ with her readers on Facebook in an inspiring letter to her daughter. And, while the list is dedicated to Toni’s daughter, I think it’s safe to say that this list is one that all daughters (and sons) should consider following.

mum Toni Hammer shares rules for daughter

To all the daughters out there… 

1. Don’t say “Sorry to be such a pain”.

You’re not a pain. You’re a person with thoughts and feelings who deserves respect.

2. Don’t make up reasons as to why you can’t go out with a guy you don’t wanna go out with.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation. A simple “No thanks” should be acceptable.

3. Don’t overthink what you eat in front of people.

If you’re hungry, eat, and eat what you want. If you want pizza, don’t get a salad just because other people are around. Order the damn pizza.

4. Don’t stay home because you don’t have anyone to go out with.

Take yourself out. Have experiences by yourself and for yourself.

5. Don’t hold back your tears.

Crying means you’re feeling something that needs to get out. It’s not a weakness. It’s being human.

rules for daughter

6. Don’t say “Yes” to be polite.

Say “No” because it’s your life.

7. Don’t apologise when someone else bumps into you.

And don’t smile because someone told you to. 

8. Don’t hide your opinions.

Speak up and speak loudly. You should be heard. 

9. Don’t be afraid to laugh at your own jokes.

And, most importantly,

10. Don’t apologise for being who you are.

Be brave and bold and beautiful. Be unapologetically you.

Looking for more parenting pearls of wisdom? Have a read of Dad Shares 10 Important Lessons After Losing His Son And Every Single One Will Make You Cry.

And make sure you check back in next week for our list of don’ts to instil in our sons. 

Avatar of Jenna Galley

Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe. When the mum-of-three is not writing, you can find her floating in the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach, bouncing her baby to sleep or nagging her older kids to put on their pants.

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