A word of warning – proceed reading with caution and if offended by excessive cursing, it’s probably best to scroll on.
But for all the other sweary mums out there who love a feisty gift for themselves or love to see your sister in law squirm a little while opening her gift in front of the whole fam – these less traditional and mildly inappropriate gifts are for YOU.
When people on your gift list already have everything (or don’t want anything for Christmas), ewwhy not turn it into a fun game of who can out-sass each other in the gift-giving stakes? Of course, if you have young children or family who you know won’t see the funny side, spare them the Christmas meltdown and perhaps exchange gifts out of their view – or risk being knocked off the Christmas card list.
Ready to get festive AF? Here are eight brilliantly sweary and slightly inappropriate gifts for you below!
8 Sassy, Sweary and Inappropriate Gifts for 2021
Bitch Can Bake and Shits and Sizzles Aprons
PRICE: $39 each
WHERE TO BUY IT: Kitchen Language
A one-size-fits-all apron range, the Kitchen Language aprons feature a long waist tie to fit both skinny minnies and curvy queens. I LOVE the Bitch Can Bake apron for all my baking buddies, it’s sure to add some spice to the next bake stall. And for those who aren’t afraid to get on the BBQ tongs, it’s all Shits and Sizzles!
Daily Inspiration Cards for Fierce Women
PRICE: $35.00
WHERE TO BUY IT: Creating Fierce Women
Give the gift of a daily reminder that you are FIERCE AF with these sassy cards. Designed to ensure you take action and live life to the fullest with no F@#KS given. No Fluff, no woo woo, just hard arse, truth bombs and a kick up the butt reminder each day.
With three different sets to choose from, each box comes with 33 brilliant cards designed to remind the reader just how brilliant they really are. Are you ready for your Fierce Woman Daily Dose of F@$Kinspo! Shop now and unleash your inner Fierce.
Sweary Pencil Box Set
PRICE: $19.18
WHERE TO BUY IT: Etsy
I mean, what could be better paired with next year’s planner than a box of pencils printed with delightful profanities? Perfection, just don’t get them mixed up with the kids’ back to school stationery packs. Awks.
Little Sweary Mug – Eat a Bag of D*cks
PRICE: $26
WHERE TO BUY IT: Eggplant and Poppy
Everyone loves a new coffee cup, right? RIGHT. Pretty in pink with a glorious floral print, your gift recipient could NEARLY be fooled into thinking you had just bought her a super sweet new vessel for her morning brew. That is until she reads the fine print. Lollllllll.
A F*cking 2022 Daily Desk Calendar: A daily dose of Zero F*cks
PRICE: $21.75
WHERE TO BUY IT: Catch.com.au
Now you can swear the WHOLE year away! It has months, days and all the bluntness you need in a sweary, hilarious calendar. It’s a completely uncensored calendar and absolutely not for the workplace unless you’re trying to encourage contact from HR.
Blue Q ‘I’m a Delicate F*cking Flower’ Hand Cream
PRICE: $24.95
WHERE TO BUY IT: Quirksy
A little bit passive-aggressive but a whole lot of skin nourishing, that’s what you get in these adorable tubes of Blue Q ‘I’m a Delicate F*cking Flower’ hand creams. Beautifully scented, super cheeky and a fab handbag size, there are eight sweet-smelling scents to choose from in the collection.
Manifest The Good Sh*t Rose Quartz Crystal Candle
PRICE: $44.99
WHERE TO BUY IT: Far Kew Emporium
If a candle is your regular go-to gift, it’s time to add some sass to it. Manifest the Good Sh*t Candle offers 60 hours of glorious burning time and even has fancy pants rose quartz crystals included – it’s time to put out to the universe what you want for the coming year (holidays? A pay rise? A new car?). Light the wick and GET MANIFESTING!
Typo Sweary Socks
PRICE: $9.99 a pair
WHERE TO BUY IT: Typo
When are socks ever an inappropriate gift? Never! Flip the bird from your pinky toe with these rude finger socks or act like a ray of sunshine in these glorious daisy numbers – whatever your style of socks, Typo has a slightly humorous – most likely censored – pair to stuff in a stocking (and keep your feet warm!)
Penis Succulent Planter Pot
PRICE: $28
WHERE TO BUY IT: Etsy
Something unique for the plant mums out there! The perfect peen pot for a spiky succulent, these perfectly portioned pecker pots are made right here in Australia so you KNOW they’ll get to you in time for Christmas. And if your girl isn’t into horticulture, she’s got herself a damn fine peen pot for her pens or wooden spoons? Right?
There you have it folks, a whole lot of sweary, mildly inappropriate gifts for sweary mums! SO MUCH FUN for Christmas morning!
Looking for more Christmas gift ideas for the whole family? Check out our 2021 Christmas gift guides:
- Baby Christmas Gifts 2021: 10 Great Christmas Gifts for Babies
- 2021 Christmas Gifts for Kids – 12 Great Gifts for Kids 5 to 12 Years!
- Toddler Christmas Gifts 2021: 11 Great Picks to Make Christmas Gifting Easy
- Little Kids Christmas Gifts 2021: 13 Fun Finds for 2 to 5-Year-Olds
- Xmas Gifts for Teens and Tweens: 14 Fabulous Finds for Kids aged 10+
