Parents Offer to Pay $900 a Day to Have Their Kid Toilet Trained For Christmas

Let’s not sugar coat it. Toilet training sucks. But money talks.

Just ask this couple in the UK, who put out an ad asking for someone to toilet train their daughter for them.

And the wage? $900 a day!

Clearly I’m in the wrong profession.

Help me, I’m (time) poor – and hate poop 

A busy couple in Surrey, England, have reached out to an online parenting website, childcare.co.uk, begging for some help in the toilet training department.

“Both of us work in full-time, demanding jobs, and we have previously tried to toilet train her, but due to our busy careers we’ve both realised we have not got time to do so,” wrote the parents.

The parents, clearly at their wits’ ends, are asking for someone with at least a decade of experience in the potty training profession. Plus, the professional needs to be able to handle sassy threenagers as their daughter “doesn’t respond well to authority”.

But there’s a catch. And a deadline. You see, the little girl, 3, needs to be fully using the toilet by 23 December – when the in-laws arrive for the holidays. 

“We’re very conscious that our daughter should be using a toilet by now, and with the in laws coming over for Christmas, I am desperate to get her fully using the toilet by December 23.”

Teach daughter to pee in toilet – Take home $4500

The parents are hoping that the right professional can complete the task in five, 10 hour shifts. At $90 an hour, the potty trainer will take home $900 a day! And, if she or he gets the job done by the end of the week, that’s $4500!

Plus, the parents are willing to pay a “handsome bonus” for completing the task successfully and by the required deadline.

In addition to training their daughter, the parents have also asked that the “professional coach us on how to teach our daughter to use the toilet, so we can continue to teach her”.

I have to admit that toilet training my kids nearly killed me. But we got through it. Eventually. No professional needed. No deadline required. Just plenty of patience, a really good mop and a LOT of wine.

If you had the cash, would you be willing to pay to bypass this whole painfully messy potty training process? If not, check out our 20 toilet training tips to help put those nappy days behind you (and pocket the extra $5k for a holiday instead).