Want to annoy a stay at home mum? Any of these clangers is sure to p*ss her right off. 

Throw away lines can impact your mood immediately. One minute, you’re a sweet, sensitive mummy. Next, you’re a fire-breathing, steam-coming-out-of-your ears, laser-eyed girl on the edge.

You know who we’re talking about, right? The people who love to offer their ‘take’ on your life as a stay at home mum.

Well, here’s 10 of their most annoying, offensive and mis-judged opinions.

Read on. No doubt you’ve heard them before. And, heck, feel free to send this article to repeat offenders, the time for feigned indifference is over.

1. What do you do all day?

This one never gets old does it?!  The first time it’s assumed that all we do all day is watch daytime TV, hackles begin to rise. Every time someone says it, it becomes more irritating. While you can’t give them your full schedule of waking up at 5am to a hungry baby and going to bed (or more accurately, passing out on the couch) at 7pm before the 9pm feed, simply ask them the same question. ‘What is it exactly that do YOU do all day?’ That should neutralise things nicely.

2. Don't you miss being in the office?

In a way, yes. Sure we can look back at our former lives and miss aspects of it, but most of us are happy in our current situation. I mean yep, I miss my old team and the social aspect but, looking after my son is where I’m happy now. There’s no need to try and poke at the fact our situations have changed. And being a mum can be lonely. Thanks for highlighting that!

3. You must be so up-to-date with all the TV shows

Look, if we’re lucky, we’ll get to watch half an episode max, twice a week. But not for lack of trying, we would LOVE (and I do mean LOVE!) to sit back and binge on episodes of Orange Is The New Black. But the truth is, we’re tired. When we do get a moment to sit back and chill it usually ends with us passing out from exhaustion, then feeling guilty that we haven’t had time to fold the clothes or do the dishes. Yep there’s some binging but it’s of the sleep and/or guilt variety.

4. If you get a spare moment can you do a few jobs for me?

You’re joking right? You think I’m dying to wrestle my toddler away from Peppa Pig or The Wiggles just so I can take your ASOS returns package to the post office? No, just no. I don’t actually have loads of spare time. Contrary to some people’s beliefs, stay at home mums have plenty on their plates, so while we may help when we can, don’t think we’re jumping at the opportunity to become your personal assistant just because ‘we’re at home all day’.

5. It must be soooo boring

Just because taking the kids to the park or singing Hot Potato, doesn’t appeal to you, it doesn’t mean I’m bored. Along with many other SAHMs, I enjoy spending time with my child and watching him discover the world around him. It’s actually pretty amazing – and I’ve hardly got time to be bored!

6. So, are you ever going back to work?

Believe it or not my career goals aren’t anyone else’s business but mine. You don’t question when a person is going to quit their job, right? So why would you do that to a stay at home mum? It’s rude, just stop. I’ll tell you when I’m good and ready.

7. You must be rich to be able to afford to stay at home!

Maybe we are! But what if we’re not? What if my family is skimping? What if we’re just getting by, yet going back to work would mean we’d be in the exact same spot? What if this was a hard choice but one that is best for our family? Again, its none of your business – and can be a really sensitive spot. Tread very, very carefully.

8. Wow! You have the biggest active wear wardrobe for someone who doesn't workout

Look, tights and sneakers are comfy, get over it! When I’m wrangling my toddler, who has decided to play hide and seek through the shopping centre, it’s not the most practical thing to be wearing a power suit and Jimmy Choo heels. Don’t judge me. I actually showered today.

9. It's like having a holiday... forever!

Trust me, no-one is sipping Pina Coladas poolside. Being a stay at home mum isn’t a holiday. Your Dolly Patron style, Monday to Friday gig gives you a lunch break and sick leave. This might not be ‘work’ to you, but it’s so far from a holiday. There are no sleep ins to be had – and definitely no happy hour – just 24/7 on call mum duty.

10. Everytime I come over you have a sink full of dishes

Do I? Well thanks for noticing. And yet not helping. We do our best to get the house in order while keeping our kids happy and healthy, so forgive us for not having our homes as pristine as you would like. Feel free to dry up – the tea-towel is to your left.

We don’t want a pat on the back, or a gold medal but what we would like is some respect and less condescension. How about a simple, ‘You’re doing great!’, or ‘You’re a machine!’ and if that seems like it’s too much, how about offering a helping hand? A hand with the laundry or dishes or even an hour of babysitting go a long way. Let’s be more supportive of each other, rather than tear each other apart with thoughtless comments.


Alex is not your average mum, she's pretty much a hot-mess mum who relies too heavily on caffeine and Netflix. She adores her life with her one-year-old son and hubby. She's done time as a magazine writer and is venturing into an exciting new career as a beauty therapist.

1 Comment

  1. i get this about stay at home mums but dont understand when offensive comments are made about working mums we have to grin and bear it…….i work cause i need to financially, intellectually and socially – my choice next time i hear – don’t you miss your kids, how sad you arent there for them etc etc i might just scream – i work then come home and do all the cleaning, homework, cooking, sport also help at tuck shop on my days off, etc etc but i dont ask for a pat on the back or sympathy its my choice and so is sahm – why do we need this competition and why take offence

Write A Comment