A mum loves her child more than words could ever describe. It’s an inexpressable thing – the bond we have with our children.
For Dawn this incredible bond with her daughter, Maddy and her son, George began from the moment she realised she was pregnant with them. Dawn tells Love What Matters,
The three of us were a team. We went on adventurous trips, went to each other’s activities, talked openly, and had family night once a week to catch up on each other’s lives.
It was a special and amazing bond that I treasured and was so very proud of.”
In March 2017 this family bond was broken when Maddy died, three days after her 19th birthday.
Maddy died unexpectedly from Toxic Shock Syndrome on March 30, 2017 at 4:55 p.m. Her tampon poisoned her body.”
‘This is the story of the day I lost my precious daughter’
The night started out like every other birthday. The family was heading out to dinner to celebrate Maddy’s 19th birthday, a tradition they’ve done for years and years.
Maddy said she wasn’t feeling well but still wanted to go.
She didn’t eat much and when she returned home, she was sick to her stomach with diarrhoea. The vomiting and diarrhoea continued throughout the night.
The next day she had a fever and still didn’t feel well. Dawn decided if she was still sick the next day, they would go to the doctor to get checked.
She looked at me and stopped breathing
That Wednesday morning, I went to get her up and she was just lying in bed. Her eyes were open, but she was out of it.
I asked her if she knew who I was. I went to get her up and shower her off because she had been sick throughout the night.
In the shower, she got very weak and I moved her so she could sit down while I dressed her for the doctor.”
Dawn realised that this was serious so she called for an ambulance while holding Maddy in her arms.
‘It’s okay they’re coming’, I told her. Then I look and all of the sudden she looked at me and took a deep breathe and closed her eyes. She stopped breathing.”
Dawn remembers screaming to Maddy, ‘Don’t leave me, I love you, please don’t leave me’.
She remembers Maddy having a seizure and the ambulance arriving to try and save her. They took her in the ambulance while Dawn followed behind in a police car.
At the hospital, I was directed to a room to wait while they worked on my baby. I was finally allowed to see her and she was hooked up to a ventilator. They said her condition was grave.
Maddy made it through the night but she got worse and worse.
I prayed that God would take me instead of her. She had a beautiful life ahead of her and all of her dreams to chase and achieve. My son needed her to grow old with. They needed to have their families and each other.”
‘The worst moment of my life’
On Thursday, just three days after Maddy turned 19, the decision was made to turn the ventilator off and Dawn said goodbye to her daughter.
I held her as she took her last breath. How was I going to say goodbye to my baby that I loved with all of my heart and being?
I stayed and held her for as long as they would let me, I didn’t want to let go, I wanted to bring her home with me. I can’t begin to tell you the horror in seeing your child like this.”
What happened to Maddy?
In the aftermath of losing Maddy, it was discovered that Maddy died of menstrual toxic shock syndrome. You may have seen the warnings that come on the tampon box labels about it, but no one thinks it could actually happen to them. Or to their daughters.
Toxic shock syndrome results from toxins produced by Staphylococcus aureus (staph) bacteria or group A streptococcus (strep) bacteria. The bacteria release toxins into the bloodstream which cause symptoms of shock. The toxins can also damage organs and body tissue, which can cause death if left untreated.
It can happen to anyone with a skin wound but it can also occur when using a tampon. Many people assume it only happens if you leave a tampon in too long but this isn’t the case. It can happen even if you change your tampon often, as Maddy had done.
In Maddy’s case, the bacteria took over her body and she couldn’t fight it. Vomiting, diarrhoea and fevers are some of the symptoms but these symptoms are so common in so many mild illnesses that often it goes misdiagnosed or is diagnosed too late.
Losing Maddy
Dawn lost Maddy over four years ago, but the grief never goes away and the nightmares continue. Maddy, who wanted to be a model and travel the world, had the world at her feet.
I wish with all my heart my sweet daughter was here with us. I miss her so very much it hurts. The pain and emptiness are with me every moment of every day. There has not been one single day I have not cried for my daughter.
Maddy was absolutely a rare gem, both beautiful inside and out. She is always and forever my world and always will be.”
Don’t shock me – mTSS Awareness
Out of Dawn’s grief came the decision to create a foundation in honour of Maddy, Don’t Shock Me – Maddy Massabni Foundation for Toxic Shock Awareness.
The foundation educates and creates awareness on Toxic Shock and the dangers of tampon use. Dawn and George work together to travel around the world and raise awareness of TSS. The foundation has been up and running for two years now and has already accomplished so much from fundraising to fighting to have certain bills passed into law.
Women do not have to die from this. We need to make changes and save their lives. It’s our duty as humans to help others and change the world for the better.”
“Madalyn’s Law” requires school districts to incorporate age-appropriate instruction on toxic shock syndrome and requires installation of signage in certain women’s rooms to enhance public awareness of toxic shock syndrome. It also requires certain doctors and nurses to ask patients questions regarding menstrual cycles, previous tampon use, and toxic shock syndrome. The Foundation has also created mTSS Awareness Day which falls on 30th March in several states, counties and towns in America.
For more information, follow Don’t Shock Me on Facebook and through their website.
Reducing the risk of TSS death
According to Health Direct, there are several ways you can help lower your chance of developing TSS. These include:
- Wash your hands before and after inserting a tampon
- Use a tampon with the lowest absorbency for your menstrual flow
- Alternate tampons with sanitary pads every so often during your period
- Change the tampons as often as advised on the pack — about every 4 to 8 hours
- Never insert more than one tampon at a time
- Make sure you remove the last tampon at the end of your period
- Use sanitary pads at night
Possible signs and symptoms of toxic shock syndrome include:
- A sudden high fever
- Low blood pressure
- Vomiting or diarrhea
- A rash resembling a sunburn, particularly on your palms and soles
- Confusion
- Muscle aches
- Redness of your eyes, mouth and throat
- Seizures
- Headaches
Call your doctor immediately if you have signs or symptoms of toxic shock syndrome. This is especially important if you’ve recently used tampons or if you have a skin or wound infection.
TSS is treated in a hospital, using antibiotics and providing support to the other functions of the body that have been affected. Treatment is normally successful if TSS is detected early on.
