Humour

29 Reasons my Nearly 13-Year-Old Son Rolled his Eyes at me Today

It all started at 7 am. On a Thursday. Nearly the end of the week. I’m already over this week and it would appear my nearly 13-year-old is very much over it too.

Case in point. On this particular Thursday morning, at 7 am, I received my first eye roll of the day. Nothing new. But on this particular Thursday, I decided I would ‘track’ just how many times my 13-year-old son rolls his eyes, face palms, scoffs, snorts, or makes some other odd noise to suggest I am:
A. Uncool.
B. Wrong.
C. Weird.
D. Being ignored.
E. Embarrassing.
F. All of the above.

Now keep in mind that he’s at school for the majority of the day… and yet, here I am. With 29 eye rolls to my name in just 24 hours. If that doesn’t deserve a trophy, I don’t know what does.

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So, without further ado, behold my collection of eye rolls and the reasons why my nearly 13-year-old son bestowed such disgust in my direction.

Disclaimer: This article and image supplied were approved by the nearly 13-year-old who actually smiled, not eye rolled, when I read it to him. 

Eye roll #1: I turned off his air conditioning and told him to get out of bed. This was just the beginning.

#2: I told him to stop spitting toothpaste on the mirror.

#3. I then asked him, if he insists on spitting toothpaste, to kindly clean it up.

#4. I asked him to put his cereal dish in the sink. Seriously, HOW CAN I EVEN ASK HIM THAT?

#5. I told him to ‘have a good day’ on the way out to the bus. Side note: This wasn’t an eye roll but a grunt which could possibly be deciphered as an “You too, mum”. Which I will take.

#6. I didn’t give him chocolate milk in his lunch. Now, I know I wasn’t there for this eye roll but I can bet my bottom dollar that when he opened that lunch box, he would have silently cursed me. But, side note: He drank the last chocolate milk the day before even when I told him to save it for his lunch. I got an eye roll for that suggestion too.

#7. I emailed him to ask him how his test went. Side note: This wasn’t an eye roll persay. But I could feel his eye roll in his reply of “fine”. 

#8. He returned from school and I once again asked him how his test went. This eye roll also came with the reply, “I already told you, mum.” 

#9. “Fine” is not an answer, I remind him. And this was rewarded with, you guessed it, an eye roll. Also a loud sigh. And a two-minute conversation about how the test actually went. Which is what I call a “win” in my books.

#10. I informed him we are out of mac and cheese so he needed to choose a different after-school snack. Side note: Three guesses who ate the last mac and cheese the day before. It shouldn’t really be that surprising to him that we’re out of mac and cheese.

#11. I checked that he’s done his homework.

#12. I checked again but he ignored me.

#13. I turned off the Wi-Fi.

#14. I demanded he go outside and touch grass for 10 minutes before returning to his bedroom gaming lair.

#15. I suggested we play footy. Then I threw the ball not directly at him, resulting in him having to run 10 meters to retrieve it.

#16. I asked him to take a quick selfie with me.

#17. Then I mentioned we should make a TikTok together. Oh man, this one went down WELL! 😂

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#18. I asked him to set the table, something he is asked to do every single night.

#19. I didn’t make tacos for dinner. Side note: We had tacos two days ago. Double side note: This one wasn’t so much an eye roll, but a loud grunt, followed by the death stare directed at the chicken dish I had made instead.

#20. I told him “I don’t wanna taco about it” when he once again, asked about tacos. Then I smiled way too hard.

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#21. I said the word “can’t” wrong. Apparently, I cannot speak.

#22. I suggested he shower.

#23. I reminded him that towels need to be hung up.

#24. I told him to stop screaming at his friends through his PS4 headset.

#25. I reminded him that “Deez nuts” is not something to scream at the top of our lungs so his impressionable three-year-old sister can repeat it at daycare.

#26. I once again asked about homework. Seriously, if you’re ever itching for an eye roll, just bring up homework. Works every time.

#27. I told him he should go to bed soon.

#28. I, once again, turned off the WiFi.

#29. And, finally, I gave him a big ol’ mummy cuddle and told him I loved him. Side note: After this eye roll, I swear I could hear him mutter, “I love you too.”

But I won’t let him know I heard it.

BIGGEST SIDE NOTE: Now, I know what some of you are thinking. My nearly 13-year-old son is a little shit.

But, truth be told, he’s actually not a little shit at all. He’s a really good kid. He’s smart, he’s funny, he’s loving and he’s an all-around decent boy. He just has a tendency to roll his eyes at me a lot and today was an especially big eye roll day.

But before you judge or suggest he needs discipline, just remember, at one stage, you were also once a 13-year-old. I’ll be the first to admit that at 13, I was the QUEEN of the eye roll. My son learned from the best.

So, good luck to all the mums who are going through the eye roll phase now or entering it soon. Just remember: for every eye roll, there is a part of him thanking you for caring. He just prefers to express it in eye rolls. 

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Avatar of Jenna Galley

Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe. When the mum-of-three is not writing, you can find her floating in the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach, bouncing her baby to sleep or nagging her older kids to put on their pants.

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