All the people in your life know a different version of you. There’s the person we are with our parents, our siblings, our partner, our kids, our work colleagues, our sports team mates, our friends… etc. But no one knows us quite like our ride-or-die bestie, BFF, soul sister, and forever friend.
She knows the things we can’t share with others. She’s privy to all our NSFW (insert fave celeb here) fantasies, inappropriate crushes, and deepest secrets. So, if I die young, here’s what I’d like my bestie to do. Who else will you trust to keep your sense of humour, lift the spirits of your loved ones, and protect your secrets?
25 things on my BFF’s to-do list if I die young
Everyone’s list for their best friend would be different, but here’s my to-do list for my bestie if I die young (take note lady!).
1. Make sure to delete my browser history: My parents, partner, and kids don’t need to know the NSFW things I look up!
2. Replace all my boring underwear with hilarious, outrageous ones: Let’s give everyone a good laugh, even in my absence.
3. Choose a hilarious quote of mine for my headstone: Keep my sense of humour going for everyone who visits me.
4. Pick the most ridiculous photos of me for the memorial slideshow: Let’s keep the mood light and humorous.
5. Don’t let my family pick out my final outfit: You know they didn’t get my sense of style. Dress me for comfort.
6. Roast me at my funeral: You know all the good, bad, and ugly stories. Make them laugh so much that they forget why they’re crying.
7. Remember our secret word and go to a psychic: If they say it, you’ll know it’s me reaching out to say hello.
8. Have a huge party in my honour and invite all my exes: It’ll be fun to see who turns up to pay their respects.
9. Play all my favourite songs at my funeral, even the guilty pleasure ones: The more inappropriate, the better!
10. Go to my place and grab all the sappy love letters I never sent: Have a bonfire and a drink for me.
11. Create a time capsule of my life: Give future historians a laugh.
12. Scatter my ashes somewhere so weird that people will wonder if it’s legal: A theme park, a zoo, off a cliff, diving with sharks. You know me. You got me.
13. Prank call my enemies in the middle of the night: Just for the fun of it and to remind them I still hate them.
14. Plant something in my name: But, like, something poisonous or with a hilarious name.
15. Clear the photos from all my devices: There are some that no one should accidentally stumble across.
16. Take all my books home and finish reading them for me: It’s not their fault I died before I could finish them.
17. Rickroll my Spotify: Set it up to repeat ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ endlessly on a loop.
18. Start a ‘Caption This’ contest: Use my social media pics and get all our friends and family involved in the fun.
19. Get someone to live-tweet my funeral: Make it funny and sweet.
20. Message everyone on my Snapchat and tell them I didn’t like them: Just for shits and giggles.
21. Send everyone at my funeral a blank photo from my phone, saying, “It’s dark in here” – It’ll be hilarious and give everyone a much-needed laugh.
On a more serious note… here’s what I really want if I die young
22. Keep me alive for my kids: Tell them age-appropriate but totally inappropriate stories about me. Go to their life events. Be the “me” I can’t be for them.
23. It’s OK if you (accidentally/on purpose) sleep with my partner: You’ll grow close in the weeks and months following my death. You’ll both need some comfort. I won’t hate either of you for it.
24. Throw parties on my birthday: Invite everyone I love and have a huge celebration with cake and my favourite music. Tell funny stories about our wild adventures.
25. Use my photos and quotes to make memory books for my nearest and dearest: Gift them something tangible to hang on to, to remember me by.
And finally, remember I love you
Never forget what you meant to me. Celebrate our friendship in the quiet moments. I would not have been the person I was without you.
