Some toys are simply best left on the toy shelves.
Or given to other people’s kids so you don’t have to deal with the noise … or the mess.
Which toys fit the mould, you ask? Below are 10 of the top contenders we’ve come into contact with over the years. What annoying toys would you add to the (re)gift list?
1. A Recorder
Yes. That squawky musical instrument from your past still exists. And people are still giving them as gifts to kids.
2. This Spinning Mooing, Baaing, Clucking Animal Sound Generator
I love interactive toddler toys. But this one nearly broke me when my two were younger. Why? Because, no matter how you spin it, it’s gonna end in an annoying farm animal sound.
There’s only so many times you can hear “Moo moo” in a day before your eye starts to twitch.
2. The Pie Face Game
Any game that requires you to “bring your own whipped cream” is probably best re-gifted. To someone you don’t like very much. Or to someone who likes getting kinky in the bedroom.
4. A Massive Stuffed Animal
Especially one that takes up half your living room. Costco sells this giant teddy bear, in case you’re wondering where one would find such a horrific creature.
5. A Glitter Kit
Craft kits are fun. But plenty of craft kits come with glitter, slime, sand or some other messy substance that sticks around way longer than you want it to.
6. A Drum Set
Oh look. A super loud musical instrument that takes up half the play room and allows our kids to hit things with a stick all day. How awesome.
Said no parent ever.
7. The Corn Popper
This toy is brilliant for toddlers learning to walk! But after listening to the pop, pop, pop of the balls for three days straight, you might find that the Popping Walker gets retired. Into the garage.
8. Bath crayons
Hooray! Now kids can make even more mess in the bathroom by smearing crayons that promise to “easily wipe clean” but actually stain the sh*t outta everything. If you’ve got a friend with kids who you actually despise, we highly recommend bath crayons.
9. The Fart Blaster
Yes. Farts are funny to children. And to some adults. Especially when they come out of a gun, like they do with this Despicable Me 3 Fart Blaster.
Give this gift as a birthday present and the birthday child will LOVE you for it. The parents, not so much.
10. Hungry, Loud, Hippos
And let’s not forget one of our faves from our own childhood that most likely drove our parents mental back in the day – Hungry, Hungry Hippos. Another loud game with heaps of little balls to lose all over the house.
That about sums up our list of the annoying toys we love to hate (including sneaky tips on where to buy them in case you need a snap birthday present this weekend) . And there’s plenty more toy action to explore! After all, it is TOY MONTH here at Mum Central! Check out our designated toys section as well as our top picks for the all new BIG W Toy Mania Sale!