Pregnancy is a prick of a thing, isn’t it? First, it affects your boobs, then your belly, then your brain.
While your boobs and belly keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger, I swear my brain keeps shrinking with every pregnancy and every baby I pop out.
It’s only natural to be a little slow off the mark when pregnant, after all, you’re carrying another human being and that’s a pretty big load!
But, no one really mentions just HOW slow your brain becomes during pregnancy. Well, no one told me at least. )Or maybe they did, but I forgot!) Suddenly, all of those normal things that you do every day without even thinking about become impossible. Like talking. And writing. Even remembering your kids’ names. Suddenly they now belong in the #toohard basket.
I can’t tell you how many times I accidentally poured coffee into my kids’ cereal, how many times I brushed my teeth with moisturiser or how many times I stood in the car park, pretending to be taking a break but really wondering “Where the eff did I park my car???”.
A quick Google search and it turns out that pregnancy brain is a super real thing. A recent Australian study found changes to cognitive functioning and memory occurred early in pregnancy, but did not become apparent until the third trimester. Now you tell us?!
And worst of all, this baby brain ‘fog’ can last up to two years postpartum. Great. Go grab your name badges, kids!
Don’t make the pregnant woman do things. It won’t end well.
So maybe I’m not just tired. Maybe I’m suffering from baby brain. Whatever the case, here are just a few of the things I’ve done JUST this week that proves pregnant mums shouldn’t be in charge of ANYTHING.
I went through the car wash with the windows down. And with about $200 of groceries loaded in the back seat too. Soggy cereal boxes for days!
I rocked up to school pick-up without pants on. Yep. I looked down and realised I had forgotten to put on bloody pants. How is that even possible, I don’t know??!! Of course, I opted for the Stop Drop Go line-up that day.
I lost my keys. Then I found them in the microwave. With a REALLY cold cup of tea from like three nights ago. Well done mum.
As I grabbed a cup of coffee to go from a local cafe I noticed an older gentleman sitting by himself. I made up a story in my head about how he was on his own because his wife just died and he was lonely. Pretty soon I was sobbing in the line-up because of it.
I tossed the dog a dishwasher tablet instead of a biscuit. Luckily she’s a fussy little thing and refused to eat it.
I drove to the school to pick up my kids. On a Saturday. They were visiting their grandparents. I just completely forgot!
I forgot to take the cling wrap off a pre-made casserole before putting it into the oven. Yes, I could blame baby brain for this, but truthfully, I’ve done this like six times. Pregnant or not pregnant, cling-wrap is deceiving!
I flipped out at the grocery store clerk because there weren’t any pre-cooked chooks left. I think I may have even used the phrase, “I hope you burn in hell.”
It’s NOT just me!
Oh no! Heaps of other mums admit they do dumb sh*t while pregnant. Have a look at this pregnant mumma who wore a car seat cover as a skirt. Yup. Totes something I would do.
In fact, we recently asked some of our Mum Central readers about their baby brain moments and they also delivered the pregnancy blooper goods:
I used my Medicare card to pay for groceries, then had a huge panic attack at the register because I thought all our money had been taken out of our account. I tried to pay three times before I realised… fun shopping experience that was.” – Katy
I took my tank top off to change my socks.” – Steph
I finished filling up my car with petrol and paid. Then I got into the backseat instead of the driver’s seat. I had to pretend I was looking for something before getting back into the driver’s seat.” – Jac
I made a cup of tea in my half-full sugar canister. Would not recommend.” – Jess
I’ve cooked rice in the microwave without actually putting rice IN the microwave.” – Peta
I buttered my phone instead of toast and then put it back in the fridge instead of the butter.” – Susan
I tried to unlock the house with a button on my car key.” – Rachael
And it doesn’t get better, ladies! Because once you have the baby, your brain becomes even fuzzier! Get ready for all sorts of mummy fails, from putting the baby monitor (not the bottle) in the microwave to constantly jiggling and making a strange shushing sound, even when you don’t have the baby with you. Good times ahead.
What to read next
What’s in store after having baby? Have a read of some of our favourite new mummy stories:
- 7 Completely Valid Reasons Why New Mums Get NOTHING Done
- 11 Things I Planned to do on Mat Leave, Before I Realised Babies Are Effing Hard Work
- Navigating Motherhood: Advice For New Mums