Free Range Flaps Cause Facebook Frenzy and the Internet is in Hysterics


Yes, you read that right. Yes, it does mean what you think it means. Apparently barely there bikini bottoms are hot right now … and social media is in hysterics.

E-Commerce site Beginning Boutique released a pic of the sexy new knickers on their Facebook page and the comments are absolutely priceless.

Model Olivia Mathers is clearly stunning, but she should probably not move in those bottoms. Like, not even at all. She looks dangerously close to slipping some snatch, not what you expect to see when innocently scrolling through your Facey B newsfeed while you’re having your tea.

Tiny bikini
More pics of the dainty swimwear, as featured on the Beginning Boutique site

Just here for the comments

To be honest, you probably need to BE Olivia Mathers to actually rock these bad boys. As long as it’s on a day when the only thing on your to-do list is ‘stand still like a statue’. I am apparently not the only one who feels this way.

The post has already attracted over 44,000 comments. Women everywhere are happily describing how they think they would look in the bather bottoms. And the imagery is burned on my brain forever.

“Sweet lord, this would make my vagina look like a hedgehog stuck under a floorboard”

The site is known for swim wear that would cut the average woman in half, but this new bather/belt/torture device contraption has led to disbelief and laughter. So much laughter.


beginning-boutique-2I won’t keep you in suspense any longer. Check out the comments below. And you’re welcome.

Beginning Boutique Facebook Comments

“Please surgically remove flaps prior to use”

Beginning Boutique Facebook Comments

“Now we have to worry about clit slips as well as nip slips”

Beginning Boutique Facebook Comments

“Where do you keep your Koala Ears???”

Beginning Boutique Facebook Comments

“Hang on gals me vagina flap has fallen out again”

Beginning Boutique Facebook Comments

Beginning Boutique Facebook Comments

Read it all for yourself!

Head over to Beginning Boutique if you want to snatch (ahem) up one of these little numbers, known as the 9.0 Swim Cabana Bikini Bottoms, for the bargain sale price of $24.95. You’ll be pleased to know they’re also available in black. Yes, there is a matching top too (hooray), should you want more boob support than your own hands.

Tiny Bikini
I too like to sexily lounge around in my crotch parachute, just like this.

Let’s make a deal. We’ll all buy this teeny weeny skimpy bikini and I’ll meet you on the beach. You first though. I’m right behind you…honest.

This brings memories of Fendi’s vulva scarf screaming back. Whatever’s next? Vagina hat, anyone?

Make sure to follow us on Facebook for more fun and inappropriate shenanigans.

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