Dating a teacher who is currently teaching your child? Yes or no?
Fun Fact: Dating with kids is a wild ride. Sure, there are plenty of fish in the sea but most of these fish are mega weirdos with red flags for days. Finding someone you connect with, especially over some sassy back-and-forths online, is next to impossible and most single mums I know have given up on being someone’s Tinderella.
One mum shared her despair at dipping into the online dating pool. Instead of using a dating app, she found a love connection in the real world. The only issue? The guy is her son’s teacher.
Before dating a teacher and persuing Mr Hottie from Science 8A, she posted anonymously on Scary Mommy’s new advice site, asking their resident expert Penelope if it’s okay to date her child’s teacher.
The mum explains:
“I’m the mum of two great kids, and two years ago, their father and I had an amicable divorce. After taking some time to enjoy my new single life and reconnect with myself, I decided I was ready to get back out there and download a bunch of dating apps.
After four months of dates that ended up feeling more like therapy sessions with me as the therapist, I’d pretty much decided to close up shop and live out the second half of my life with my other divorced friends and a series of canine companions. There were worse fates.”
The poster then ran into her son’s grade 8 teacher in a coffee shop. And the convo went from school to other stuff to another meet-up the weekend after.
“What can I say? I’m smitten, and I sense the feeling is mutual.”
The single mum shared her new connection with a friend who said that perhaps dating your kid’s teacher isn’t the smartest move.
“I can see her point. I’d been so thrilled to have felt an authentic connection with a seemingly decent human that it didn’t occur to me I might be treading down a dangerous path. I don’t want to make a mess for anyone, especially my kid. At the same time, I really like this guy.”
So what’s a gal to dooooo?
What the experts say about dating a teacher who is teaching your child
According to Penelope, who is a mental health practitioner in training,
“Boundaries are essential in maintaining healthy relationships, particularly in a school or work setting, and especially when children are involved. That said, I found myself, like you, wondering if there wasn’t some way to take a softer stance.”
Penelope also shares that she asked her teacher friend his thoughts on the matter and was met with a very firm “Don’t do it”.
“The quality of your child’s relationship with their teacher is one of the most important predictors of their emotional and academic success. If you start dating one of those teachers, there’s no way not to create a triangle. Your kid’s relationship with the teacher could now be compromised by your own.”
We also asked a Secondary School principal (who chose to stay anonymous) her thoughts and she stated that it’s very much frowned upon at their school, especially if the teacher is the child’s current teacher.
“Teachers have to follow a code of conduct and dating the parent of a child in their classroom can lead to a compromise in that child’s educational journey. So, no, I wouldn’t allow it.“
Another educator weighed in on the subject of dating a teacher, suggesting the mum take it super slow.
“It’s okay for that stage of dating to last a long time. If you have kids, maybe it should. And last I checked, the school year is only nine months.”
In other words? Date the dude outside the house, but don’t bring him home for a while.
No 13-year-old boy wants to see his teacher wandering around the kitchen in boxer shorts and chafe from a big night of boinking his mum.
What do you think? Is it okay to date your kid’s teacher or should the classroom be off-limits when it comes to love connections?
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