Advice

Busted! 10 Female Orgasm Myths We All Need to Stop Believing

There is an astonishing amount of misinformation about yonic (opposite of phallic) orgasms floating around out there (thanks social media, tv, movies, books, and porn). The most alarming thing about this is almost half of those people, are people with vaginas.

It’s an eye-opening reminder that sex education is severely lacking. Especially when it comes to the inner workings of people with vaginas. The lack of information we are taught about our own bodies is bad enough, when many of us are also raising people with vaginas, we owe it to ourselves, and them, to be informed with correct information.

These female orgasm myths are dangerous because they perpetuate unrealistic expectations and contribute to feelings of inadequacy or shame. When people believe in misconceptions they can feel distressed or pressured.

This can lead to performance anxiety, relationship issues, body issues, or unnecessary stress. Additionally, these myths may hinder open communication about sexual health, preventing individuals from seeking the information and support they need to have a fulfilling and healthy sexual experience.

Dispelling these myths is crucial for fostering a more inclusive, understanding, and informed perspective on sexuality.

There are more myths about the female orgasm than there are euphemisms (of which there are many) so here are 10 female orgasm myths and the facts:

Male and female orgasm myths  – 10 myths BUSTED

female orgasm myths
Source: Bigstock

Myth 1: Orgasms Are The Same For Everyone

Reality:

Orgasms vary in intensity, duration, and the unique sensations each person encounters. Understanding and embracing this diversity can foster a more inclusive and informed perspective on sexual pleasure.

Myth 2: Orgasms Are Only About Physical Pleasure

Reality: 

Beyond the physical aspect, emotional and psychological factors significantly contribute to the orgasmic experience. Feelings of intimacy, trust, and emotional connection can elevate pleasure and satisfaction, emphasising the holistic nature of sexual well-being.

Myth 3: Everyone Has Orgasms Every Time They Have Sex

Reality:

Contrary to the belief that orgasm is an automatic outcome of sexual activity, numerous factors influence one’s orgasmic response. Stress, fatigue, and underlying medical conditions can impact the frequency of orgasms, highlighting the need for a more nuanced understanding of sexual health.

Myth 4: Only Penetrative Sex Leads To Orgasm

Reality:

Various sexual activities, including nipple or clitoral stimulation, oral sex, and other forms of intimacy, can lead to orgasm. Recognising and exploring diverse pathways to pleasure enhances sexual satisfaction.

Myth 5: Men Always Orgasm And Women Rarely Do

Reality:

People of all genders can face challenges in reaching orgasm, and individual variations exist. Open communication and mutual understanding between partners are key in fostering a supportive and fulfilling sexual relationship.

Myth 6: Multiple Orgasms Are Common For Everyone

Reality:

 While some individuals can experience multiple orgasms, assuming it as a universal norm oversimplifies the complexity of sexual response. Achieving multiple orgasms depends on various factors, including physiological differences and individual arousal levels.

Myth 7: If You Don’t Orgasm, Something Is Wrong

Reality:

The misconception that orgasm is a mandatory outcome of sexual activity can create undue pressure and anxiety. Understanding sexual satisfaction encompasses a spectrum of experiences, including enjoyment, connection, and communication, promotes a healthier perspective on sexual well-being.

Myth 8: Orgasms Are Only Genital

Reality:

Some individuals experience whole-body orgasms, emphasising the importance of exploring and understanding one’s unique pleasure responses. Some people can orgasm through thought or mental stimulation only.

Myth 9: Orgasms Are Only For The Young

Reality:

People of all ages can experience sexual pleasure and satisfaction, emphasising the importance of recognising and embracing sexual well-being throughout the lifespan.

Myth 10: Orgasms Are Always Loud And Intense

Reality: 

Individuals express pleasure in various ways, and understanding and respecting these differences contribute to a more inclusive view of sexual experiences.

Understanding and dispelling these myths is crucial for promoting a healthy and informed perspective on sexual experiences and pleasure. Communication, consent, and mutual understanding between partners are essential for a satisfying sexual relationship.


More orgasms, please

If you’re looking for tips on how women can enhance their solo sexual experiences and have better orgasms when alone, here are some suggestions:

how to choose a sex toy
Source: Adobe Stock
  • Self-Exploration: Experiment with different types of touch and discover what feels pleasurable to you.
  • Use Lubrication: Heating or cooling lubricant can give new sensations and for the daring, there’s even a line of popping candy specifically for oral sex.
  • Fantasy And Erotica: Engage in fantasies or use erotic materials to stimulate your imagination and enhance arousal.
  • Incorporate Sex Toys: Experiment with sex toys to add variety and enhance pleasure. There are many options available, catering to different preferences. See our guide on how to choose the best toy for you.
  • Focus On The Clitoris: The clitoris is a highly sensitive area for many people with vaginas. Experiment with different types of clitoral stimulation to find what works best for you. There are sex toys specifically for this type of stimulation.
  • Mindfulness, Breathing And Relaxation Techniques: Be present in the moment. Focus on the sensations you are experiencing without distraction. Practice deep breathing or other relaxation techniques to reduce stress and increase overall body awareness.
  • Explore Different Positions: Experiment with different positions and angles to find what provides the most pleasure during solo play. When you find a position that works for you, consider investing in some specially designed furniture to maximise your pleasure.
  • Vary The Speed And Pressure: Change the speed and pressure of your movements to explore different sensations. Pay attention to what feels most enjoyable.
  • Give Yourself Time: Be patient with yourself. It may take time to discover what brings you the most pleasure, and that’s perfectly normal.
  • Pelvic Floor Exercises (Kegels): Strengthening the pelvic floor muscles through Kegel exercises can improve sexual function and increase sensitivity, potentially leading to more intense orgasms.

Remember that self-pleasure is a personal and unique experience. There is no right or wrong way to explore your own body. Listen to your body, be open to experimentation, and prioritise your comfort and well-being. If you have specific concerns or questions, don’t hesitate to consult with a healthcare professional or a sex therapist for personalised guidance.

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Avatar of Tina Evans

Tina Evans is a complete introvert, an avid reader of romance novels, horror novels and psychological thrillers. She’s a writer, movie viewer, and manager of the house menagerie: three kelpies, one cat, a fish, and a snake. She loves baking and cooking and using her kids as guinea pigs. She was a teenage parent and has learned a lot in twenty-three years of parenting. Tina loves Christmas and would love to experience a white Christmas once in her life. Aside from writing romance novels, she is passionate about feminism, equality, sci-fi, action movies and doing her part to help the planet.

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