16 Drunk Texts that Prove Intoxicated People Win the Internet


You’ve had a few wines and you’re feeling good. So what do you do? Reach for your phone to let your loved ones know exactly how you’re feeling or what you’re doing via a drunk text. It makes sense and sounds like a good idea, right?

Except, of course, it’s not.

Because Drunk You isn’t anywhere near as coherent or clever with the SMS as Sober You. Proof in point? These 16 hilariously bad drunk text messages, sent by adults, teens, parents, friends and random strangers even.

Admit it: You’ve sent at least one of these drunk texts in your day.

1. Thanks for the ride 

drunk text

2. When a stranger gives you FOMO

drunk text

Not gonna lie. I kind of wanna party with this dude too.

3. Mum got into the chardonnay again 

mum drunk text

4. Math and cereal 

drunk text

5. Cheese craving  

drunk text

So many feelings to go with that cheese platter.

6. When you’re so drunk you answer your own text

drunk text

8. Dude, where’s my phone? 

drunk text

Face palm.

9. Just cruising home with a paper plate steering wheel

drunk text


10. When autocorrect tries to ruin your mood but you won’t let it

mum central

11. Olive Garden confessional 

drunk text

12. F*ck Farmville

drunk text

I mean, who hasn’t gotten drunk and dug a few holes in the backyard??

13. Don’t drink and online bank 

drunk text

14. Also, don’t drink and online shop

drunk text

“The sound is a ding ding, right?” 😂

15. A Harry encounter 

drunk text

16. So much regret  

drunk text


Oh, drunk people, you make me laugh. And make me feel so much better about the several dumb drunk texts I’ve sent in the past. My favourite has to be the mum drunk on 2-4-1 Chardonnay at the Olive Garden.

Which one is your fave?

Even more funny texts

If you’re on the hunt for more funny texts, we’ve got 16 mum texts that prove texting your kids is an art form.

Avatar of Jenna Galley

Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe. When the mum-of-three is not writing, you can find her floating in the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach, bouncing her baby to sleep or nagging her older kids to put on their pants.

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