You’ve heard of a bucket list. But, what about a Nike List? One woman created this ‘list’ as a way to deal with pregnancy loss.
‘I was so sick of being sad’ said Emily Smith. After the heartache of losing three pregnancies she overcame her self-pity by making a ‘Nike List’. Instead of focusing on her grief she decided to ‘just do it’ and get on with life.
- Emily decided to stop ‘life getting in the way’ while waiting to become a mother
- She started the ‘Nike List’ to distract herself from sadness and learn new things while hoping for her much-wanted child.
Emily Smith, of Newcastle, wanted nothing more than to be a mum. The 25-year-old had always envisioned herself as having a large family. And, that doesn’t mean two or three. Smith had imagined that she’d have four to six children in all!
After only six months together, Emily married her now-husband. Even though their courtship was quick, the couple was in love and ready to start a family. When the Smith’s found out that they were expecting, they weren’t exactly thrilled. If that sounds odd for a couple who couldn’t wait to have a kiddo of their very own, it isn’t. Smith told the Daily Mail, “As soon as I found out I was pregnant I was in the hospital getting ready for surgery.”
The expectant mum had been in serious pain. After trying to ignore it. She finally sought medical help. That’s when the doctors informed her that she had an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy happens when the fertilized egg fails tries to implant somewhere other than the uterus – typically the fallopian tube. Obviously, this isn’t a healthy place for a baby to grow. Symptoms of ectopic pregnancies include vaginal bleeding or spotting, abdominal pain, back pain or a sudden sharp pain. In roughly 15% of ectopic pregnancy cases the fallopian tube ruptures. This is an emergency situation and requires immediate surgery to prevent serious bleeding. Smith’s tube had ruptured, and she need this emergency procedure to save her life.
Even though the surgery was absolutely necessary, Smith was left with only one tube to carry eggs. This decreased her ability to get pregnant, making her baby dreams seem just that much farther away. Despite the fact that she had a lower chance of conceiving, she did get pregnant again. She was about seven weeks along when she had a miscarriage. The discouraged and depressed would-be mum kept on trying. During a holiday to America Smith took a pregnancy test (after having some funny-feeling symptoms). It was positive, and the couple was overjoyed.
Again, tragedy struck. Smith miscarried three weeks later. She could have sat back and wallowed in depression. Many women who suffer through multiple miscarriages do. Ad, it’s completely understandable. But, Smith didn’t want to put her life on hold for one more moment. That’s where the “Nike List” came in. Unlike a “bucket list” which is basically the top things you want to do before dying, the “Nike List” is a way to live. Like the athletic company’s slogan says, “Just do it!” Smith and her husband decided to stop giving themselves excuses, stop waiting and start living – to the fullest.
On her blog Smith notes that, “happiness is subjective.” Just because something is on her list doesn’t mean it would or should be on yours. Her message is that people (everyone, and not just mums experiencing miscarriage) need to create their own happiness.
As if the multiple miscarriages weren’t hard enough to work through, the couple recently found out that Smith’s husband Josh has Huntington’s disease. The degenerative disease affects motor skills and the person’s ability to speak. It’s likely that Josh, who is in his 20s now, won’t begin to experience the major symptoms for another decade. That said, the couple haven’t stopped their baby plans – or their Nike List plans either.
Smith has gotten the medical go-ahead to try for another pregnancy. Even though she’s all for trying again, Smith isn’t focusing her whole life on it. She’s continuing to build her Nike List and work on her happiness goals.