Where the Heck Was Mum? Stop the Selfies and Put Mum in the Pics!

How many pictures do you have of your own mum? Chances are, not many.

Go ahead, search through your family photos. You’ll be lucky to find a rare few of your mum. Why? Most likely, because she was the one snapping the pics. And, now history is repeating itself!

You’re taking pictures left and right. You follow your kiddo around like her own private paparazzi, and document each and every movement. There are pics of the first time she rolled over, her first crawl, her steps and every first holiday. Oh yeah, and so much more. If it seems like your phone is filled with photos that you’ve taken of your child, you probably aren’t wrong.

So, what are you going to do about the fact that all of your so-called family pictures are of everyone else but you? Hey, you don’t want your child looking back and thinking, “Where in the heck was mum?” You were there. You are and will be there for every first moment, family reunion, school carnival and everything else that your child does.

Well, lucky for you that it’s the age of the selfie. Everyone’s holding their cameras (or rather, smart phones) at arm’s length and snapping away. Adding your kiddo to the pic lets you get in on the action and become part of the memory-making too. Hey, mum doesn’t need to stay stuck behind the scenes! Right?

Of course, with every good intentioned parenting action comes some sort of totally irrational reaction. The more mummy-child selfies that seem to make their way onto Instagram and Facebook, the more the “perfect” parents are ready to judge.

Obviously, you couldn’t be doing your job as a parent if all you’re doing is taking pictures of yourself. Um, heavy sarcasm intended. The mommy shamers are on a selfie warpath, claiming that taking these pics takes mum out of the moment. Apparently that means she isn’t enjoying just “being” with her family. Of course, she’s waaaaay too considered with her selfish selfies.

Hold on. Okay, some of us mums may be all about ourselves. There are the narcissists who just enjoy seeing pretty pictures of themselves online. But, for the most part these mommy-child selfies aren’t in any way selfish, harmful or hurtful. They’re just a way to document that you are actually here. It’s not like you’re stopping your tot from a super-fun day of outdoor play and forcing her to sit and pose for a photo. You’re just making a little memento. Something to remember this day – now and decades from now when your kiddo has her own kids.

And one more thing. What about dads? If you’re super-sick of the selfie, but down the camera (yeah, phone) and let someone else do the picture taking. There’s no parenting rule saying that only mum can be the family photog! At least, we’re not aware of any. Get dad in on the action and let your guy start snapping away. His handy picture-taking skills will make the slew of selfies you;re taking absolutely obsolete.

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Erica Loop is a mum, parenting writer and educator with an MS in child development. Along with writing for websites such as PBS Parents,, Scary Mommy,, Modern Mom, and others, she also is the creator of a kids' activities and art blog.

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