After Being Told Her Daughter Had Hit Another Student, This Mum’s Comeback Left Them Speechless


Imagine you get a call from your child’s school saying that she just hit another student. Yikes! 

Now imagine that when you get there you find out the school has only told you a teeny, tiny part of the story. This Mum’s comeback that will make you cheer for another mother… 

This is exactly what happened to one mum from Surrey, England. Telling her story on the website Not Always Learning, the mum details how a bullying accusation was much more than a simple case of one child hitting another.

Okay, so hitting is never alright. As parents, we know this and tell our kids this. But, when the mum was told that her teenage daughter had hit a boy in her class, she needed the full story. The teacher and Head of School informed her that her daughter was in serious trouble after physically assaulting a male student. What they hadn’t told her on the phone was that the boy had repeatedly snapped the girl’s bra.

Here’s how it all unfolded:

mums response to daughter hit student

mums response to daughter hit student

mums response to daughter hit student

mums response to daughter hit student

mums response to daughter hit student

mums response to daughter hit student

mums response to daughter hit student

The boy admitted to snapping the bra. The girl admitted to punching him, after nothing was done at his repeated twanging. After being brought into the school and told what happened the mum asked, “Oh. And you want to know if I’m going to press charges against him for sexually assaulting my daughter and against the school for allowing him to do it?”

That’s when the teacher and Head of Year took the supposedly serious incident of the girl hitting the boy down a notch and said, “Let’s not over-react.” Suddenly the situation went from being severe (when the girl hit the boy) to not that big of a deal (when they boy snapped the girl’s bra).

Not only did the boy touch the girl in a way that she very much did not want, but the teacher did nothing about it. The girl told her teacher, and the teacher reposed by asking her to ignore the snapping.

The girl hadn’t just randomly punched the boy. Far from it. Instead, she was defending herself against what most of us would consider sexual assault. When did it become okay for a boy to touch a girl’s bra at school? And, when did it become okay for a boy to continue this behaviour when the girl says, “no”?

Sexual assault is a serious issue, and should never be ignored by a teacher. The fact that this teacher actually told the girl to ignore it speaks volumes – and not in a good way. According to the Australian Institute of Criminology, sexual assaults have risen by 51% since 1995. Any kind of unwanted touching or sexual act in which the other person doesn’t give consent constitutes assault. The boy’s actions, snapping the girl’s bra even though she didn’t want him near her, could definitely be viewed as a sexual assault.

What happened to this mum and daughter? Even though the school staff repeatedly brought up the fact that the girl had “beaten” the boy, the mum continued to remind them that, “She defended herself against a sexual attack from another pupil.” After telling the boy that she would have him arrested for sexual assault if he ever touched her daughter again, the mum reported the incident to the Board of Governors. And that is exactly what most of mums would have done too!

Avatar of Erica Loop

Erica Loop is a mum, parenting writer and educator with an MS in child development. Along with writing for websites such as PBS Parents, care.com, Scary Mommy, mom.me, Modern Mom, education.com and others, she also is the creator of a kids' activities and art blog.


  1. Avatar of Rebecca Burns
    Rebecca Burns Reply

    Equally my son was locked in the girls toilets and refused exit by two girls.
    When he attempted to get away his legs were pulled out from him and he fell against the sink and had his two adult front teeth smashed.
    The school said it was a prank gone wrong and the punishment was an apology letter

    So i asked If two male students forced a girl into a toilet blocked and refused her exit what do you think the consequences would be? I was told clearly it would be considered sexually motivated and they would be stood down.

    It’s not just women/ girls who are victims. Im TIRED of outraged parents of girls – I have girls too but I tell you their rights are more protected by society and the general public than my sons over and over again.

    • Avatar of Holly G

      I am not sure why you would be outraged by parents of girls. I have two sons and I worry about bullying in all shapes and forms, but reading about this…it simply gives me inspiration on how to handle such an injustice should it happen to one of my sons AND it reminds me that I need to continue to be very clear with my sons about how to interact with their classmates and in particular, girls. I remember getting my bra snapped again and again in class as a kid. I remember some other pretty awful things the boys did and I know the teachers knew it was going on. Sometimes they said things about it, but there were never repercussions for the boys. It was humiliating for me to be treated the way I was. I developed pretty early and the other kids used my more developed figure as ammunition against me. I was presumed to be ‘easy’ and willing. I was nothing like that actually. I am a 43 year old woman and I still cringe and feel disgusted thinking about my teenage self and the things some of the boys did at school to me……and that no one seemed to care.

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