What would happen if Mo Willem’s beloved Pigeon was a mum?
Pure hilariousness, that’s what.
If you haven’t jumped on the Mo Willems‘ Pigeon Books bandwagon yet, it’s time to do so Seriously, go. These quirky books are funny, sweet, super quick to read and relate to everyday issues that both kids and parents can laugh at.
There’s a whole heap of hilarious titles in the series. Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, The Pigeon Needs a Puppy, Don’t Let the Pigeon Stay up Late, The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog and The Pigeon Needs a Bath are just a few of the ones that rotate through our bedtime reading routine.
All of the books are G-rated, because, you know, they’re meant for kids. But what if there was a series just for us parents?
We’ve decided to pimp up the Pigeon books to relate to all things parenting. Because children’s books for grown-ups are pretty much the greatest thing ever. Just look at the Little Miss and Mr Men series for adults.
Welcome, mums, to the new and improved The Pigeon book series. Not for sale, just for giggles. But I am secretly hoping Mo sees this and agrees that our Pigeon for Parents parody series MUST happen.
Let the Pigeon parody fun begin…
1. Pigeons and wine don’t mix
The Pigeon has had a rough day. But… there’s a silver lining. There’s a bottle of wine in the fridge calling her name…
I’ll just have one glass… Maybe one more…. But it’s sooooo goood…
Just don’t let the Pigeon drink the whole thing… Or do. And prepare for angry hungover Pigeon tomorrow. She’s always fun.
2. Tits and tweets
Her pigeon kids sucked the life out of the first set.
3. Even pigeons hate homework
But I forgot… But I thought I already told you it was due…. It’s only one little assignment… We can do it together…
Meanwhile, The Pigeon stays up half the night piecing together a diorama while the kids pass out in front of the couch. #pigeonlife
4. Potty time for pigeons
Stuff the hot dog. All the Pigeon wants is to be able to go to the toilet alone, without anyone asking her for a snack or if she can turn on the television for them. No. She cannot turn on the television. She is trying to pee, dammit.
5. Wifi woes
Why would any little Pigeon want to play with their outrageously overpriced Princess dolls when they can watch a random stranger do it on YouTube?
6. That’s the spirit, pigeon
She also needs a week holiday, a family sized block of chocolate, a full body massage and someone to come and clean the house for her. But she’ll settle for a vodka instead.
7. Pigeon poop
Is it poo? It is chocolate? There’s only one way to find out. And the Pigeon isn’t too excited about it…
8. Streaming pigeon
Just this once. Pretty pretty please?
Oh, and no “chill” either. Not gonna happen Daddy Pigeon. Stay on your side of the couch, thank you very much.
9. Counting pigeon
What happens when the Pigeon gets to three? She turns into a crazy fire breathing dragon that WILL THROW AWAY EVERY SINGLE TOY THAT STILL REMAINS ON THE FLOOR BECAUSE SHE’S TOLD YOU 8 GAZILLION TIMES TO PICK UP YOUR SHIT.
Don’t let her hit the Magic Number. Seriously, just don’t.
10. Pigeon goals
The end.
Looking for more adult-friendly kids’ books? Check out this golden little gem, Nobody Likes a Cockblock.
